Back to the grind
Jul. 18th, 2006 12:29 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
greatbearToday marked the return to work and hopefully a bit of normalcy for me. People at work were very understanding, they had a nice card and small collection waiting for me when I got in. I realized that I jumped the gun with regards to painting everyone there as being insensitive; it only appeared that way because so many were on vacation at the time and did not hear until their return. I did, however, find out that I have good friends that I really didnt know I had, and sadly I have discovered a couple who have wholly turned their backs on me (none of these, btw, are LJers). Unfortunately, my time off decimated both my immediate savings and vacation time. This puts the brakes on any trip plans for the rest of the year, 'retail therapy' and some projects I have going. I'll work things out somehow.
I came home both exhausted and quite upset. The first thing I would do when arriving would be to see how Mom was and what she was doing. The 'urge' was still there, but it was lost in an empty house. I made a little dinner, ate it halfheartedly and collapsed in bed for a little nap. The nap ended at around 11pm and I woke up feeling the need to do something, so I did more wiring on the house. Yeah, strange. But it's so 'me'.
I realize that I still have a long path to travel with regards to healing, reconciliation and moving on. It really hit home today and I spent most of the time choking back tears and failing as I went through my daily routine. I dont see that changing anytime soon. In all honesty, though, I wouldnt feel right if this was not the case. I'll get through it all, one day at a time.
I came home both exhausted and quite upset. The first thing I would do when arriving would be to see how Mom was and what she was doing. The 'urge' was still there, but it was lost in an empty house. I made a little dinner, ate it halfheartedly and collapsed in bed for a little nap. The nap ended at around 11pm and I woke up feeling the need to do something, so I did more wiring on the house. Yeah, strange. But it's so 'me'.
I realize that I still have a long path to travel with regards to healing, reconciliation and moving on. It really hit home today and I spent most of the time choking back tears and failing as I went through my daily routine. I dont see that changing anytime soon. In all honesty, though, I wouldnt feel right if this was not the case. I'll get through it all, one day at a time.
