The Manic Mechanic

I know a few people like this, some right here on good ol' LJ.



I had to say, this made me laugh, mainly because I notice such things myself.

Jeff and I were watching TV in the kitchen while making dinner the other day. The news are on, and a story came on regarding 40-something people at a rehabilitation clinic being sent to local hospitals because of carbon monoxide poisoning. Apparently there was some sort of heating machinery malfunction and the resulting vapors moved throughout several interconnected buildings. Me being me, however, could only say this:

"They tried to make me go to rehab but I said, 'CO, CO, CO!'"

I managed to exit the kitchen without food being thrown at me.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Ah, one of the many questions I field on this day, every year. The most asked, of course, is "Did you see your shadow today?" You see, today is Groundhog Day, which coincides with my birthday. To make matters worse, I am also a victim of coincidence in that my name is Phil, which I share with a certain famous four-legged weather prognosticator from Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania.

I guess I should appreciate this little humorous convergence of events, because it does serve as a reminder to people who know me that today is, indeed, my birthday. Sadly, this does not seem to translate into an increase in gifts.

As for my most-asked question? Indeed I did see my shadow today, albeit not as I emerged from my burrow upon awakening, but as I got out of the car at work this morning. No shadows were cast prior, since it was too early in the morning and the sun had yet to rise. By the time I had gotten to That Place Which Pays My Bills (among other things), the sun had cracked over the horizon, and my shadow was cast.

Six more weeks of winter, bitches! X-D

Now, I will let you in on a little secret kept by us members of marmota monax (co-species noogies to danlmarmot!). Shadow or no, there is always six more weeks of winter beyond this most illustrious day. It's pure astrological fact, as there is no way to move the actual seasons! If anything, it's an old German wive's tale mixed in with Candlemas and the Gaelic/Celtic/Pagan ritual of Imbolc. The Welsh know it as Gŵyl y Canhwyllau, which apparently would not exist without the letter "y", much less the Welsh themselves. Nor would Lynyrd Skynyrd. But. I. Digress.

If you look at your calendars (and you live in North America, land of this silly tradition as it exists today) you will see that the official start of Spring, which occurs on March 20, is not quite seven weeks from today's date. This little ritual is not meant to alter the arrangement of the seasons, people. Instead, it's meant to predict the severity of winter weather (cold, snow, ice, awards shows) during those six weeks' time. As far as weather prognostication goes, us Groundhogs are not much worse than NOAA or your local quirky weathermanperson, despite not having all the cool meteorological tools at our disposal.

So please, stop blaming me for the snow, scraping of windshields, frozen pipes and snowball fusillades from the neighborhood kids that might happen between now and the start of kite-flying season. It ain't my fault.

As far as the answer to the question posed at the beginning of this post? A woodchuck would chuck all the wood he could if a woodchuck could chuck wood!

This was one of the stranger videos in the heydays of MTV. Not that the song was all that bad, it's just that the video itself seemed like it was for a totally different song. From a totally different planet. After all this time, it's been reworked a tad so things make a bit more sense. Or, perhaps, not. Here is the "Literal" version of Bonny Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart" video.

This has been making it's rounds through the blogosphere. I just had to share.

You can almost feel the hardscrabble life he's had those past five years. ;)

Mac Guy: Greetings, Ma'am. I'm a Mac. I see you have an Apple iPod. What do you have on your iPod? *smug grin*
iPod Warrior: Mfff Mmmm, Fff Mmm N Mmm, um, Mmumm mmuum..
Mac Guy: I'm sorry, I don't understand.
iPod Warrior: *rolls eyes* *removes lip plate* Labbldy Gabbbgabblga, Thbb Jobbnabbs Bbbrubbdersbb, Mebbtabblibbcabbbl, Lebbd...
Mac Guy: Pardon, I'm not sure I...
iPod Warrior: POW! POWPOWPOWPOWPOWPOW! POWPOW!

Okay, okay, I know, lip plates don't garble speech like that, and I've seen more involved body piercings on clumps of Millennials txting each other at the mall. But indulge me in one of many ways I'd like to see that Mac Guy get his comeuppance. Or cumbbubbabbance, as it were.

Image is from today's article in Wired for This Day In Tech.

Apparently my little April Fools joke was pretty effective. Not just the joke itself, mind you, but it's echo. Look back at my supposed Twitter stream. You'll find stuff that's not quite right. (Hint: times and links.)

This brings me to what I would say is my modus operandi in regards to LJ posting and some comments. In a fair amount of my posts I shovel in a lot of hidden information. I will often incorporate a memorable sentence from one of my friends list entries. The alt text of pictures or the mouseover text of links will often convey unusual commentary. Sometimes I will make a post partially or completely in someone else's style. Many people I read here are often very pro- or anti-something. If they are having problems that I can be of help with (say, a person who hates Macs is having problems with their Windows PC), I will offer my advice salted with a little humourous dig at their beloved or a sympathetic jab in the direction of their dislike. This latter bit is something I do very rarely, and if I sense it's being taken wrong (teh intarweb is srs bsns!) I will cease.

There are other little idiosyncrasies to be found here and there, but I will let the reader find them if and when they happen. Or don't, for that matter. I have a feeling a lot of them are ignored or fly over people's heads who might not have all the info to be in on the humor. In the meantime, I will keep things going here at Mayhem Central pretty much as they have been for nearly six years. How time flies.

Now off with Kodi to the vet. He hates this with a passion.

This made my morning. I knew change was coming with the Obama administration, but this was totally unexpected. Hattip goes to urso:

I blame it on the Inauguration coming right after MAL.

If the Internet can be thought of as a "series of tubes", can a jail cell be considered a series of bars?

To cheer things up around here, I have a little video. Don't click 'play' if you are sick to death of Larry Craig schtick (or are a staunch supporter).