greatbear: (arethahat)
[personal profile] greatbear
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Ah, one of the many questions I field on this day, every year. The most asked, of course, is "Did you see your shadow today?" You see, today is Groundhog Day, which coincides with my birthday. To make matters worse, I am also a victim of coincidence in that my name is Phil, which I share with a certain famous four-legged weather prognosticator from Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania.

I guess I should appreciate this little humorous convergence of events, because it does serve as a reminder to people who know me that today is, indeed, my birthday. Sadly, this does not seem to translate into an increase in gifts.

As for my most-asked question? Indeed I did see my shadow today, albeit not as I emerged from my burrow upon awakening, but as I got out of the car at work this morning. No shadows were cast prior, since it was too early in the morning and the sun had yet to rise. By the time I had gotten to That Place Which Pays My Bills (among other things), the sun had cracked over the horizon, and my shadow was cast.

Six more weeks of winter, bitches! X-D

Now, I will let you in on a little secret kept by us members of marmota monax (co-species noogies to [livejournal.com profile] danlmarmot!). Shadow or no, there is always six more weeks of winter beyond this most illustrious day. It's pure astrological fact, as there is no way to move the actual seasons! If anything, it's an old German wive's tale mixed in with Candlemas and the Gaelic/Celtic/Pagan ritual of Imbolc. The Welsh know it as Gŵyl y Canhwyllau, which apparently would not exist without the letter "y", much less the Welsh themselves. Nor would Lynyrd Skynyrd. But. I. Digress.

If you look at your calendars (and you live in North America, land of this silly tradition as it exists today) you will see that the official start of Spring, which occurs on March 20, is not quite seven weeks from today's date. This little ritual is not meant to alter the arrangement of the seasons, people. Instead, it's meant to predict the severity of winter weather (cold, snow, ice, awards shows) during those six weeks' time. As far as weather prognostication goes, us Groundhogs are not much worse than NOAA or your local quirky weathermanperson, despite not having all the cool meteorological tools at our disposal.

So please, stop blaming me for the snow, scraping of windshields, frozen pipes and snowball fusillades from the neighborhood kids that might happen between now and the start of kite-flying season. It ain't my fault.

As far as the answer to the question posed at the beginning of this post? A woodchuck would chuck all the wood he could if a woodchuck could chuck wood!
(deleted comment)

Date: 2010-02-02 05:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greatbearmd.livejournal.com
Is Willy a groundhog or a 'groondhoog'? ;)

Thanks for the good vibe!

Date: 2010-02-02 04:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] champdaddy.livejournal.com
glad to see you are at your wittiest on your special day... Happy Bday, you big woodchuck!

Date: 2010-02-02 05:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greatbearmd.livejournal.com
Thanks! It's been a while since I put up a wordy witty post, things were getting rather droll around here, to say the least. Gotta keep my mind sharp (as it's container slowly falls apart)!

Date: 2010-02-02 05:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] budmassey.livejournal.com
Wait. Are you telling me the groundhog is a fraud? He can't predict or influence weather? What's next? Santa Claus? Tortilla Jesus?

Date: 2010-02-02 05:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greatbearmd.livejournal.com
No, the groundhog is real. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy.

As for Tortilla Jesus, that exists best with salsa and cheese. ;)

Date: 2010-02-02 05:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tonethbone.livejournal.com
Wishing you a happy birthday...

Date: 2010-02-02 05:32 pm (UTC)

Date: 2010-02-02 05:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kymutt.livejournal.com
Six more weeks of winter, bitches! X-D

Thanks for the best laugh I've had so far today! Of course, my co-workers just look at my cacklin', shake their head, and check to make sure Central State (the mental hospital) is still on speed dial. I hope you're havin' a wonderful birthday today!

Date: 2010-02-02 06:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jrjarrett.livejournal.com
Ah, but Sun Prairie Jimmy did NOT see his shadow, therefore spring weather is imminent.

*runs nekkid thru the fields*

Date: 2010-02-02 06:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jrjarrett.livejournal.com
Oh, and happy birthday!

Date: 2010-02-02 06:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] danlmarmot.livejournal.com
Happy birthday, Phil, on this Day of the Marmot!

Date: 2010-02-02 06:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shake-it-up.livejournal.com
Happy Birthday, Phil.

Mine is a month after yours, and when I was 8 or 9 (figure 1961 or so) there was a thaw on my birthday, that was New York City. I expected spring to start around early March, and didn't figure out that that was wrong until I was out of high school. Living in New England (which I did then) you had to figure cold weather and snow at least through April, just to be sure.

Date: 2010-02-03 06:16 am (UTC)
bigmacbear: Me in a leather jacket and Hockey Night in Canada ball cap, on a ferry with Puget Sound in background (pool)
From: [personal profile] bigmacbear
I believe we share a birthday then. Along with Mikhail Gorbachev, Jon Bon Jovi, and Dr. Seuss.

Oh, and this little ditty occurred to me a while back: How many nuns would a nunchuck ckuck if a nunchuck could chuck nuns? ;-)

Happy B-day Phil!

Date: 2010-02-02 07:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] restoman.livejournal.com
Thanks for the laughs!! ;-)

....and I hope you have a Very Happy Birthday, Phil!!!

*hug*

Date: 2010-02-02 07:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theoctothorpe.livejournal.com
No, the real question I wanted to ask is:

Can I rub your belly?

=)

Happy birthday, babe!

Date: 2010-02-02 07:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fuzzbearmark.livejournal.com
We love you anyway, Phil!

Date: 2010-02-02 07:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] beg1n.livejournal.com
{{{bigbadbirthdayhugs!}}}

And that damn groundhog can suck it!
6 more weeks my azz...

Date: 2010-02-02 07:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maxauburn.livejournal.com
Happy Birthday, Phil!

And your post today was brought to you by the letter "Y", and the number
"39".

Heh....

Date: 2010-02-02 08:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kspsibear.livejournal.com
I guess I could send you some WoodChuck cider...

Happy Birthday, Phil! I hope it's a great day for you, buddy.

Date: 2010-02-02 08:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] barak.livejournal.com
Happy Happpy Birthday Senor Phil (not the Groundhog)!
Edited Date: 2010-02-02 08:07 pm (UTC)

Date: 2010-02-02 08:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] igzorp.livejournal.com
Happy birthday Phil! Enjoy.

Date: 2010-02-02 08:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] geometrician.livejournal.com
Happiest of birthdays to you, Phil!

So at Madame Z's whorehouse in Tulsa, Oklahoma, the girls were all sitting around the entrance when a young man walked in. The girls were tickled to notice a tattoo on his forearm that read, simply, "PUNY P."

Marla strolled over to him, and said, "C'mon, tiny. I'll take care of you." She led him upstairs.

A moment later, the other girls heard a scream from above. Marla came running down the stairs, with tears streaming.

"What happened?," the girls all asked. "Did he hit you?"

Marla caught her breath. "No, he didn't hit me. His tattoo stands for Punxatawny, Pennsylvania!"

*rimshot*

Date: 2010-02-02 09:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mikiedoggie.livejournal.com
LOL. I heart this joke. And I'm envious you can spell Punxatawanwsystyawy.

Date: 2010-02-02 09:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mikiedoggie.livejournal.com
All the best to you, and happy birthday!

In honor of your post, I am eating a woodchuck.

Date: 2010-02-02 11:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 2stroker.livejournal.com
Happy Birthday!!!!!!!

Date: 2010-02-03 01:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fogbear.livejournal.com
Happy Birthday, handsome! I hope you either did or did not see your shadow today....

Date: 2010-02-03 01:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mhkrabat.livejournal.com
Hey Phil, Hope you've had a great day and many happy returns too, eh!

Date: 2010-02-03 02:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] envirobear.livejournal.com
You're in rare form today...which is marvelous and amusing...and hopefully is not going to be a rare event in the coming months :)

But...Happy Birthday, Phil! Many more to you, ya big lug! *BEARHUGS*

(I'm leaving the spankings to [livejournal.com profile] champdaddy, Jeff, and extraneous residents of the Castle Anthrax...)

Date: 2010-02-03 05:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bearlover.livejournal.com
Happy Birthday young man.

Date: 2010-02-03 09:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] beastbriskett.livejournal.com
Happy Birthday!!
I'm sure you'll keep things warm.
Keep on Chuckin'...

Date: 2010-02-20 07:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] msclwolf.livejournal.com
Now how much of an arse do I feel?? (hmm I could have perhaps worded that better LOL) Here I am trawling through LJ on catch up and I see this birthday banter and then I remember we have THE SAME BIRTHDAY!! Whhhhaaaaa and oopsie, sorry I missed wishing you Happy Buffday nearer the day, hope a delayed hug n snog make up for it!

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