Grrrrrrrrr! I need geek help, STAT!

Okay, I am stopping just short of declaring that I have bad hardware here. Try as I might, through countless BIOS settings, driver and BIOS upgrades, I cant enable AGP data rates on my video card. I have a ATI All-In-Wonder 9800 Pro and an Abit AT7-MAX mobo. The ATI SmartGART utility will not allow AGP data rates. Nothing I can find in the Abit or ATI knowledge bases or furums helps either. Anyone out there have an idea?

Celebrate Grey Tuesday!

And piss off The Man at the same time, while letting an artist's work live and be heard, as it should.