And so it begins

[greatbear]

I wish I knew where to start. But I dont. Suffice it to say, I am a bundle of ragged nerves. I best get used to this condition. Things are happening so fast and it's tough to cope at times.

I am trying to take lots of pictures. I took my camera with me to the oncology center, taking pictures of the people that Mom has gotten to know. In '04, she became somewhat of their 'star patient' because of her outlook and spunk. They made her feel more than welcome and comfortable, but almost like an extended family. Like family members though, you can sense some of the worry, sorrow and hope they have for her at this stage. Any way you look at it, these people do care, they want to help, and their encouragement is practically boundless. I realize that this is a key part of therapy and coping. I also have found out that it takes a certain type of person to choose this as their career path. There might not be a whole lot of super-compassionate people in this world, but they tend to congregate in fields such as this.

I am going to continue posting stuff about Mom in my journal, for my sake, and maybe to let perhaps a small part of the world know more about her, and what she means to me. These are not posts looking for sympathy, though I am grateful to those who have offered their support to me over the various years. These will be instead my thoughts, impressions and feelings set to print. It's not easy for me, especially since I am by nature a very private, quiet person. I just somehow feel that this is something I need to do, because I can.

Comments

[cutepacub.livejournal.com]

*BIG HUGS* If there's anything at all I can, please don't hesitate to ask.

[beg1n.livejournal.com]

Sending you and your Mom much love Phil.

[baeritone.livejournal.com]

Whether it helps or not...I love you. *hug*

[notdefined.livejournal.com]

Oh man, you will get through this and if your spirit just can't manage, look me up and we can talk. I would come and hug you in person if I were just a bit closer.

[themonkeybear.livejournal.com]

need to do.... can do... and should.

(*hug*)

[dr-scott.livejournal.com]

excessor has been through the wringer a few times with his mom's cancer. Posting about it (and what your mom means to you) helps.

[bygbrat.livejournal.com]

big hugs

[champdaddy.livejournal.com]

keep writing... some of us can relate.

[danthered.livejournal.com]

I was going to write almost precisely what champdaddy has written: Keep writing, some of us can relate.

Sending positive thoughts your way.

[shawnsyms.livejournal.com]

Thank you for sharing this. I don't know if there's any way I could help. If so, just let me know.

*hug*

[shake-it-up.livejournal.com]

I didn't reply earlier this week, but my thoughts are with you. Keep your mom comfortable, and keep her company, that's the best you can do. You need a big hug, I think, I hope you have good support nearby.

[kjvbear.livejournal.com]

Phil, I use this journal for many things, and one of them is therapy. It helps me to get it down, all of it, no matter how good or bad it may be. Keep on doing this, it's good to get it out. And remember we are all here for ya Bud.....

HUGZ!

[daxcub.livejournal.com]

My apologies for being out of the loop and missing all this that's going on in your life at the moment. Please know though that my thoughts will be with you as you walk down what is both difficult yet in a way, enriching for the emotions, memories, and life that is so close to you. BIG HUGZ!

[devcubber.livejournal.com]

I think your sharing your feelings will be good medicine for you, and we all want to hear about her. As a mother myself, I can only imagine how much she loves you and how proud she is of you; by sharing and honoring her you only deepen those feelings.

*bighug*

[ciddyguy.livejournal.com]

Phil, I'm totally sorry to hear of this.

I've been offline for a few days due to the modem going south so missed any any earlier postings you did on your mom.

Just knowing that death has stared at several members of my own immediate family in recent years, I know the feeling all too well.

Hugs to you my friend.

[thetarnishedowl.livejournal.com]

You will be glad you captured this as it happened.

[liftinmoose.livejournal.com]

Issaac Assimov and I both believe that eternal life of a person happens in the memories of people who witness one's life.

The more people to know and remember her, the more she'll live forever.

Besides, think of what a blockbuster book you could write when she beats this again :)

[detailbear.livejournal.com]

You friended me when I was going through my Mother's illness. I hope I can be part of your foundation of support.