(no subject)

[greatbear]

Tomorrow is my Mom's birthday.

For the past several days I have been bordering on being completely non-functional, my thoughts overwhelmed with imagery and sounds of my memories. I have been unable to work or much else in the way of normal day-to-day living. Alternating from cozy, comforting happy memories to one step removed from a complete breakdown. And to be honest, none of it is completely bad. It's all part of the healing process I guess. She will always be my only 'true' family. And I miss her with the intensity of a thousand suns.

I love you, Mom.

Comments

[jn1701e.livejournal.com]

I'm not trying to tell you how to feel.. because I know this is very hard for you.. I can only imagine what you are going through..

but why not do something tommorow to celebrate your mom? something you and she would enjoy.

[jesus-h-biscuit.livejournal.com]

You are a sweet, fantastic Man, Phil - and I'm glad I know you.

[quirkstreet.livejournal.com]

Aw, sweetie.

If you need to break down, I think you should let yourself go right ahead. You've already proven you'll get back on your feet when you can. And if you feel like doing something more celebratory for your Mom's memory, that's good too. You can have it all: sadness, joy, feeling her presence and missing her too.

Really sorry I can't give you a shoulder in person.

[faghatesgods.livejournal.com]

there are no comforting words..

so just

*hugs*

[danthered.livejournal.com]

Phil, I understand. *Hug*

[ptownnyc.livejournal.com]

*hug*

[knarfd.livejournal.com]

Big Hug

[ciddyguy.livejournal.com]

Hugs to you my sweet man.

[champdaddy.livejournal.com]

understandable... take care of yourself, Phil

[barak.livejournal.com]

Anniversaries are always the worst. There's not really anything anybody can say. But its good that you acknowledge her. I have a couple anniversaries coming up next week and those are always hard, and even after 14 years, it still hurts. Embrace the grief and own it, but don't let it rule you. I did that for a couple years and that wasn't the right thing to do. Its a lot harder to avoid it than it is to face it. You love your mom and you miss her. The grief never goes away, but time does help you cope with your loss. I'm sorry this sucks. Its not easy but then again, when is life supposed to be? Keep honoring your mom. Go do something tomorrow in her memory, have a good cry, and then go do something for yourself.

Hugs, my friend.

[excessor.livejournal.com]

You know you'll have to experience the grief, since you don't really have a choice. I say you should let it all out.

Everyone says it gets better as time passes. I hope they're right.

[dr-scott.livejournal.com]

When someone is that much a part of your life, their threads are all woven through yours, and when they're gone it leaves emptiness. Time does not heal all wounds, but it lets you accept the scars where love used to be. Feeling it is good. Hugs to you, for what little good it does...

[furr-a-bruin.livejournal.com]

I feel much the same way about my mother; some people ask me why I get so grumpy around the 4th of July - it's because her birthday is the 5th.

Big hugs, and if you need to go off by yourself and just have a good cry - do it. Better to let it out than bottle it up.

[sparkygearhead.livejournal.com]

I love that you loved her so much, and I hate that you have to be separated from her for this time.

You'll see her again. Until then, feel your pain. It makes you very much a man of character, and it does her great honor.

[sits quietly with you.]

[liftinmoose.livejournal.com]

Happy birthday, mama Phil.

And thank you for giving the world such an incredible man.

[sfmini.livejournal.com]

Happy Birthday Mom

Phil, my thoughts will be with you on this special day as you celebrate her life and cherish your memories of her.

[devcubber.livejournal.com]

*hugs on this tender day*