One year

[greatbear]

Today marks one year since I lost my Mom to cancer.

One year. Already.

I still miss her intensely. The hurt is still raw, and the emptiness vast. I am slowly learning to cope, but I doubt I ever will, completely.

I still have my memories, and everything she taught me and raised me to be. This is my comfort.

I miss you, Mom.

Comments

[uberdude.livejournal.com]

:(
Hug

[jesus-h-biscuit.livejournal.com]

Much love, Phil.

[fuzzcub.livejournal.com]

HUGS bub.
She's always with you.

[wrascalism.livejournal.com]

((((HUGS))))

[redcub.livejournal.com]

HUGZ.

It gets better with time, it really does. Take comfort that she is very proud of you and the man you have become.

[notdefined.livejournal.com]

Oh Phil, the hurt will never go away or decrease in intensity, but will happen is that you will grow to understand it and make it a point of strength rather than weakness. Right now, it is clouding the memories of wonderful times you have spent with your mother. Learn to look and live beyond and when you do, your mother will once again be a living, breathing part of your daily life. I've lost many family members, two sisters, my dad, a partner of 16 years, grandmother etc., but it wasn't until my father died in 1985 from asbestos cancer that I began to understand this as just a transition. My father was determined that he would leave no loose ends and that his family would not fall apart after he was gone, an by God, he pulled it off. I miss my father quite a lot, especially now when so much has happened in my life and I want to show him how far I have come. I do know that he is aware of it all and once I quit drowning in my own sorrow, then his wisdom showers down on me. I am my father's son and he still makes sure that I don't forget that.

Big hugs to you big man.

afterimage

[kevinesmeier.livejournal.com]

"Suddenly, you were gone
From all the lives you left your mark upon

I learned your love for life,
I feel the way that you would
I feel your presence
I remember

I feel the way you would
This just can't be understood... "

[quirkstreet.livejournal.com]

(((hugs)))

[http://users.livejournal.com/_angry_alan/]

Hugs Phil.
I'll give you a big hug in person when I see you at Bear Week for sure.

[baeritone.livejournal.com]

You know where I am. If/when you need me. Always.

[devcubber.livejournal.com]

*giving you giant mom hugs*

You've been so strong this past year, and it has certainly been a doozy. I hope your day today is filled with all the best memories of her.

xo

[excessor.livejournal.com]

Big hugs to you.

[philmanstl.livejournal.com]

I empathize with you and know that you're not alone. Someone is thinking of you and wishing only good things.

[orejen.livejournal.com]

I'm really sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how it must feel. :(

[djmadadam.livejournal.com]

{{{{ HUGG }}}}

[liftinmoose.livejournal.com]

All I can think of is the circle of life... looking at you, I think your mom led a very successful life!

[unca-ursus.livejournal.com]

They said the first year's the worst... (big, gentle hug)

You are still loved

[brokebackvol.livejournal.com]

This is my last week before I move to Atlanta, but I send a big hug your way Phil - and I agree - she will always be with you - love never dies.

[bearlover.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[parilous.livejournal.com]

I lost my grandmother to a brain tumor three years ago and it's still quite painful to think about. I have been blessed that I haven't lost many people in my close family -- of course, when I finally *do* lose them, I'm going to be woefully unprepared.

I hope you gain strength knowing that everyone is thinking of you and sharing in your grief. They may not have known your mom, but they know you, and your mom was directly responsible for you being here.

[rockybear02.livejournal.com]

BIG HUG PHIL