greatbear: (fuzzy)
[personal profile] greatbear
It was with a lot of sadness that I saw a good amount of my friends list light up with outpourings of kind words and memories upon Jim/[livejournal.com profile] poohbearjim's passing. While I didn't know him or his partner Ray/[livejournal.com profile] profkampf except though the comment sections of other entries and Ray's artwork posts, the man obviously touched a lot of lives in a positive way. Jim's death from cancer hit home very hard for me, as any regular reader of my journal could expect. I am still wrestling with feelings of loss and depression since losing my Mom last year. These holidays only amplify those feelings, and I simply wish I could crawl under a rock and sleep away the period from late November to mid February. Way too many days in that time period have big emotional attachments, from the holidays to our birthdays.

Those who have seen me sleep would probably agree that I am fully capable of such a period of hibernation.

Speaking of holidays, it's been several years since there has been a Christmas tree in this house. Mom and I used to have a tree every year, until about eight or nine years ago, when the desire to do all that work for no real reason made us ditch the tree and concentrate instead on decorating outside the house and be minimally festive inside. This year, that has changed. Jeff has been wanting to put up a tree here for a few years now. He somehow managed to convince my Grinch-like self into dragging home a nice Frasier fir and unloading an attic full of decorations this weekend. The tree is up, the house exterior mostly decorated and Jeff is happy. I'm trying my best to measure my feelings with happiness for him and I versus the memories that come pouring in and make me one sad man.

The weather here this weekend was mostly gloomy and nasty, so not much got done outside save for the decorating during the good parts of Saturday. There are five vehicles in the driveway that are each begging for maintenance and other attention, and once again they have gone wanting. Life would be a lot easier if I could reclaim the garage from all the nonsense of tractors, tillers and the rest of the imposing fleet of equipment that needs it's own separate storage facilities. If money permits next year, I might finally build the second 'garage' for all this stuff and reclaim my second home.

We took a ride on Saturday to the place where Jeff will have a new job at the end of this month. A small retirement home nestled in a bucolic rural setting, across from a horse farm. I hope this is where he can be happy and enjoy the work that he is so well suited for, instead of hassles and broken promises in this last one. He deserves that, and more.

This week should be a busy one, I have a lot of catching up to do.

Date: 2007-12-10 05:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com
Thanks for sharing what all of this loss means to you. I know it's been emotionally tough to ready your home for Christmas, to put up the tree, but your generosity in thinking of Jeff's wishes first is nice ... very nice ... Take care of yourself!

Hugs from Texas ...

Date: 2007-12-10 01:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] budmassey.livejournal.com
We are approaching the season of renewal. I hope you find limitless joy in your new year.

Date: 2007-12-10 05:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] quirkstreet.livejournal.com
Just sending you hugs and love.

Profile

greatbear: (Default)
Phil

December 2016

S M T W T F S
    123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jan. 22nd, 2026 06:26 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios