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Camping hell
Aug. 7th, 2010 11:02 pmIt is "Illuminations" weekend at Hillside. It's a weekend that Jeff and I loved to attend, but rarely could simply because it's the most popular weekend by far, and by the time we get in for reservations, all the good sites (or in our case, the couple sites we can fit our trailer into) are snapped up. This year, however, luck was with us, and we managed to get our usual spot for this weekend. We were excited. Of course, as the time between making reservations (beginning in March) and this weekend, my health took a nosedive with the spinal stenosis diagnosis, but I've tried my best to make use of our time and not lose our deposits. Well, I think I overplayed my hand. Or my spine, in this case. We bagged last weekend's trip because I had a procedure done and I did not think I'd be ready. No improvement was made since, but we just had to come to see the spectacle here for the first time in over 5 years. I did my best at helping decorate the site and when evening fell and the lights came up, we started our trek. I collapsed not more than 15 sluggish minutes into it and had to come back to our campsite.
This is why I am here inside the camper with a fucking laptop instead of being out and around, much less even simply sitting outside watching the people. I am so fucking fed up with this, I'm pretty sure the last chance at shots coming up will do absolutely nothing and the surgery (a laminectomy) that follows will leave me a worthless lump until the 6-8 week projected recovery period passes, and even then there is no guarantee that I will be near normal in terms of mobility. Tonight the nosedive was literal, and the pain, spasms and collapsing will only be getting worse. After we return home tomorrow and the week progresses with doc appointments and such, I will try to apply for another temporary handicapped parking pass, something I was too stubborn to do this time but have no choice now. I can barely get around anymore, and I don't hold too much hope for it to return to the effortless past as far as abilities go. Yeah, I'm rambling, but honestly, I've had enough. I'm staying away from friends and socializing for the foreseeable future, I don't need more humiliation than I experienced tonight.
This is why I am here inside the camper with a fucking laptop instead of being out and around, much less even simply sitting outside watching the people. I am so fucking fed up with this, I'm pretty sure the last chance at shots coming up will do absolutely nothing and the surgery (a laminectomy) that follows will leave me a worthless lump until the 6-8 week projected recovery period passes, and even then there is no guarantee that I will be near normal in terms of mobility. Tonight the nosedive was literal, and the pain, spasms and collapsing will only be getting worse. After we return home tomorrow and the week progresses with doc appointments and such, I will try to apply for another temporary handicapped parking pass, something I was too stubborn to do this time but have no choice now. I can barely get around anymore, and I don't hold too much hope for it to return to the effortless past as far as abilities go. Yeah, I'm rambling, but honestly, I've had enough. I'm staying away from friends and socializing for the foreseeable future, I don't need more humiliation than I experienced tonight.
