Randomly random radomosity

[greatbear]

I've noticed an increase in my friends list. Welcome, dear new readers, to my (fill in the blank) Of Mayhem!

Why is it, whenever I see a Panera Bread sign, I think to myself, "Pantera Bread! RAAAAWK!!!!11"? Probably because years ago I did the same thing with Au Bon PAAAAIIIN. Must be something about heavy metal, endorphins and baked goods.

I've discovered a lot of cool stuff at the local Goodwill store. I replaced the old, cheap Pioneer receiver I used to drive the studio nearfield monitors with a 2003-vintage Sony surround receiver. While the surround channels will not be used, as a stereo amp it works wonderfully, driving the speakers at a higher volume level undistorted. The Pioneer was resisting my efforts to clean the switches and pots and will likely be given away to a friend for a shop stereo. The Sony had fully electronic switching and attenuation. Plus the 90w/ch rawks. I also managed to find a Sony 50+1 CD changer to go along with my old faithful Sony DVD player in the home theater rack. The beauty of this is, the DVD player does all the controlling of the changer, with the on-screen display and remote control integrates perfectly. It's hidden away in the rack, and sounds totally boss. Not a bad haul for 55 bucks for the pair. Once cleaned up, they both looked brand new.

Tomorrow I go back to the doc for a far more serious round of shots in my back. I'm not holding much faith in this doing much (if any) good, the last round was completely ineffective. The last several days have been spent in worsening pain and less mobility. Writhing on the living room floor in pain and unable to get up (cue MedicAlert jokes) last night really sucked. Before that a prior 30 minute bout of extreme pain leaving a store with Jeff after work and unable to stop the spasms at the restaurant we went to afterward practically ruined the evening. Our overenthusiastic waiter kept coming to the table, "Are we ready to order yet?" Me: *uuuurrgghh* "No, give us a few more minutes." Repeat this at least 4 times. Eventually things settled down and we enjoyed our meal.

Mimi's Cafe food totally pwns (see above).

Despite the pain, setbacks and slow progress, I try and keep at various things here, mostly time-consuming tasks that I've put off for too long. I've been cleaning and reorganizing the tools in the garage and doing little repairs. As long as I can do the bulk of the work sitting crosslegged on the floor or rolling about on my mechanic's creeper stool, I can keep busy. I can stumble back into the air-conditioned house periodically to take needed breaks, and just drop the garage doors leaving everything there for the next day. The last few days, however, have not seen a lot of activity at all.

Except for one person, none of my local friends here have asked about me or offered to help out in any way. Not a single note or call from anyone at work. I've gone from disappointed to angry about it, now I'm just resigned to going at whatever completely alone, aside from Jeff. He has enough on his plate anyway, bringing lots of work home. I'm used to being a loner, but I thought all the effort I put forth in helping others would give me some sort of karmic payback. No dice. When things get back to normal, however, the same people who begged for help before will find the garage closed, the IT department outsourced, the advice column gone, etc, with nothing but the bird flipped in their place.

Comments

[merlinwon.livejournal.com]

i can relate about the "When in Need - Friends Indeed"- NOT!! Been thru many a times when i've well over done my good share of helping out others.. and end up in the same boat you're in!! Not sure if there's a lesson in this or not. lol!

In hopes you do feels betters soon. God Bless!!

<3

[greatbearmd.livejournal.com]

I guess I have "fair weather friends" and the days have been sunny and pleasant!

[furr-a-bruin.livejournal.com]

I wish there were something I could do to help with your back. Not quite the same thing, but my mother suffered from rheumatoid arthritis in various joints so I have some idea. *hug*

[greatbearmd.livejournal.com]

The effect can be quite similar, aside from the spasms. The pain is still pain.

[maxauburn.livejournal.com]

I know that routine well.

Many friends and nieghbors told George they'd help me if anything were to happen to him.

Well, he died, and only a very few helped me.. and that was only once or twice, then they all backed off.

These were people that George and I had helped many times in the past.

Humans are an ungrateful lot.

(((ULTRA-HUGS))), Phil. I would want to help.

Hell, I'd get myself down there if you wanted.

I'm always ready to help a friend.

[greatbearmd.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think finding this all out has been a complete letdown.

Thanks :)

H.E.L.P.E.R.

[patrock.livejournal.com]

If it were more geographically feasible I'd offer to help in some way. It would be far more interesting to me assisting you instead of sitting around here freaking out about my own shit. Though, I have a feeling that it would end in a Police dispatch like:

"Calling all cars: Be on the lookout for two male individuals, one approximately 6 foot, large muscular build, the other 5 foot 9, medium build, both shirtless, wearing blue jeans and dark colored boots. Reports say the two men are covered in grease, mud and possibly blood. Last seen throwing large rocks, dirt, electronics, computer parts, records, car parts, produce, raw meat and effigies at each other and passers by. Suspects are reported to be fragile and either screaming or laughing"

....actually, that might be awesome!

Re: H.E.L.P.E.R.

[greatbearmd.livejournal.com]

That sounds like the perfect therapy!

[notdefined.livejournal.com]

Phil, I wish that we lived closer, I would surely lend you and Jeff a hand. I hope that the medical folks will be able to come up with a more permanent solution for you, and soon. I did not know that Mimi's was on the east coast. It is one place we can go to eat where the have calves liver and onions! (Morgan tends to not sit very close to me when I get it.)

I'm keeping you in my thoughts handsome.

[greatbearmd.livejournal.com]

This Mimi's opened a couple years ago in Columbia. We have yet to get an even remotely bad meal there. They recently revamped their menu with new items that re fantastic. And their simple Chicken Pot Pie is pure comfort food.

Jeff doesn't like liver, and neither do I, so we'd be on the opposite side of the table. You and my Mom would have gotten along well, she loved liver.

Thanks, sexy. :)

[kdotdammit.livejournal.com]

I'm glad your LJ list is growing. Your Pantera/Panera spew of course had me cracking up and LOVING YOU.

[greatbearmd.livejournal.com]

The shopping area where the auto parts store I was visiting had recently revamped and put in new stores and eateries, and is still putting in new stuff to replace the old. I noticed the Panera Bread not long ago, when I was driving up I saw it and yelled out PANTERAAAA BREAAADD in the car out loud. Right next to it went in a Five Guys burger joint. Great, huge burgers and the biggest portion of ocean fries you could want and enough calories for a day and a half, served in a brown paper bag so the fries make instant greasy circles for all to see. X-D

[fingertrouble.livejournal.com]

oof on the pain/back thing. Not good.

As re: the help thing, yeah I find some people can be very gimmegimmegimme when it comes to asking for stuff, but never forthcome when I need (actually, hardly ever). You know your real friends from this - even if it's just a phone call saying 'you OK?' or a drinks invite, it means a lot if things aren't good - it doesn't have to be practical help.

I tend to pull back from people who are always asking and never seem funnily enough to give.

Although it's partly due to familiarity when it comes to health issues - I used to never give people will canes a second glance before I met John (he has bad arthritis, pins in his leg, and osteoporosis or some bone infection type thing in the past) and sometimes if it's really bad he uses a cane. I find I now tend to be more 'aware' of those, giving up seats on trains etc. as well as mental health issues, suicide & death because of Hamish - the spooky taboo quietness around that means I tend to now speak out.

Hope you get well soon, and feel a lot better...backs are like stomach issues, constant and debilitating :-( Love your posts as usual :-D

[greatbearmd.livejournal.com]

Jeff, having worked in retirement homes and healthcare for so many years, goes out of his way to be assisting to people who could use it, and it's addicting. I mean, I'm not boor slamming doors in old ladies' faces, but I've become more aware as a result, and seem to see it more now than before.

And I too have started a while ago at dumping the needy yet unhelpfuls to the curb. I got more added to that list now.

I'm trying to post more, though, oddly, I'm not in front of a computer like I would normally be.

Thanks for the well wishes.

understanding your pain

[disccub.livejournal.com]

I am sorry you are going through the physical pain and emotional frustration. My Phil has been having serious back problems as well. He is just biding his time to the point when surgery is going to be his only option. Shots have not been very effective any more. The docs (including the surgeon) are holding off any surgery.

Here is something else for you to think about. You have always appeared to be a very self-sufficient person. This is why, I suspect, many people reach out to you for assistance. You are a "can do" person. Sometimes, people who are not as self-sufficient as you do not reach out to their self-sufficient friends because they think they have it all under control. Have you reached out to someone (other than Jeff) for some assistance or to just say, why don't you come over and spend some time with me. Sometimes it is difficult to remember that the Psychic Friends Network went bankrupt.

Hugs and positive thoughts going out to you.

Re: understanding your pain

[greatbearmd.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I figure some people think I can do it all and I don't need any help. But being incapacitated should be a sign that I just might not be as self sufficient as before. Ah, well, live and learn, and cope.

I'll know for sure what the next step will be in about ten days. If these shots help I can prolong things, but it could all lead to surgery. It's a pretty invasive procedure too, one I am not wanting to do except as a last resort.

Thanks for the good vibes.

[budmassey.livejournal.com]

It's a shame your local friends don't value friendship the way you do. It could be that they don't fully appreciate what you're going through, but then again, good friends would make it a point to find out.

Hugs, and if you're ever in Indianapolis, stop by and make sawdust in my garage.

[greatbearmd.livejournal.com]

I guess having a few bouts of various illnesses and injuries that took me out of circulation made me realize that I just can't count on people I though I could. Once might have been not a problem. A second time I started to wonder, and recent times I have the evidence pretty much solid. Sucks, but, what can ya do.

I see you are (re)taking up woodworking. It can be a lot of fun. I'd love to make the dust fly. :)

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

I'm not surprised by the lack of support from locals ... disappointed for you, but not surprised. I have a couple of friends here I can count on, but others I've not seen at all in the entire year I've lived in Minneapolis.

I'm reading everything you're writing about your orthopedic issues ... keeping you in my thoughts and prayers ...

HUGS!

[greatbearmd.livejournal.com]

I realize that people have their own things to deal with, but I also know that some of the people in that network have gone out of their way to help one another when something needs to be done and they are out of commission (or just need a hand) I've been on the giving end of that. But I find the complete, utter lack of concern and contact much less any offers to help the most disheartening. Ah, well. Live and learn.

Thanks for the concern and well-wishes. They do help, even from afar.

[kymutt.livejournal.com]

I was fortunate enough to speak with you last night, and we discussed the locals issue. It is really sad that you helped your friends, and now that it is you in need, they can't be found. I wish I could do somethin' to help...and as I said last night, I realize that distance is a major factor in that I cannot. But I'm keepin' you in my thoughts, and if you do find some way for me to help, let me know.

[greatbearmd.livejournal.com]

It was good to chat (at first I thought you were someone else but quickly surmised it was you), I think we both got something good out of it. Keep in touch! And thanks again.

[greatbearmd.livejournal.com]

That would rock. I miss bench racing and tinkering with friends.