Anger management

[greatbear]

I should learn to control my at-times short temper. Most of the time I am docile as a lamb, patience of Gandhi, bad stuff rolls off my back like nobody's business. But there are two situations I can positively lose it. Serious bouts of road rage, and while working on stuff. I can forgive a moment's stupidity on someone's part on the road if I know it was accidental. But if I know the other person's (I care not if it's a male or female) actions are obviously hostile, I will proceed to make their life on the road a living, vicious hell. Just ask Jeff. I've chased down sports cars with my big old Dodge Cummins 4x4, and I've taken on semis in the Mini Cooper. And somehow I've managed to remain here and talk about it.

There are times when I am working on stuff and I just get fed up with some recalcitrant part and I end up flinging it across the garage. Or if I clumsily knock stuff off a table I will sometimes clear it the rest of the way. Or if I manage to hurt myself somehow, I get sent into a rage. Take Exhibit A:



This is one of my shop grinders. Not seen in the picture to the right is the wall between the pair of garage doors. Since my latest project in The Garage Of Mayhem is replacing the two garage door openers, I had to attach and futz with a pair of sensors just off the floor and on either side of the big door opening. I found the clip-on mounts lacking, and made up a set of spacer blocks that also attach the sensor bracket to the wall in addition to the door track. This makes the bracket a great deal more solid and the sensors a lot less likely to go out of alignment and preventing the door from closing. After making myself comfortable sitting on the floor and installing all these pieces, I stood up. As my luck would go, I bashed my head on the tool rest attached to the 100+ pound machine. In the haze of stars and pain my instinct was to eke out my revenge. I punched the glass face shield, shattering it and bending up the frame and mounting.

Yeah, it's stupid, senseless, and, as usual, expensive. But for the few seconds after the impact as I held onto my throbbing skull, I did feel better. Reality sank in soon after and I went ahead with my work in the garage. Today while doing more work and cleaning up, I looked around and found an identical shield I had removed when I converted a similar grinder into a buffer, which has a completely open wheel with no enclosure or face shield. So I made up with my trusty machine and replaced it's mangled and shattered parts.

I've been like this for as long as I can remember. The incidents are too isolated to be indicative of some disorder, though I know when I had gotten up on the wrong side of the bed and I should not involve myself in intricate or involving projects or with anything expensive. Still, accidents will happen, then so will I.

Now, before anyone asks, no, I don't bust up people as I do inanimate objects. At worst I will get into a shouting session, but feel awful afterward. And in the case of road rage incidents that became face-to-face encounters, I kept my distance and mostly made the other party back off. But the guy who ran me off the road and cost me more than 1600 dollars in ultra-lightweight SSR Comp wheels, he drove off with the rear quarter of his Accord kicked in. Tit for tat, bitch.

I know I am in good company as well, since I recall a few LJ posts by some on my flist describing similar outbursts, sometimes with pictures of the resulting carnage. And besides, there is something primal and satisfying taking out one's frustration on that which done ya wrong. I stick with objects, since they don't lawyer up.

Comments

[liftinmoose.livejournal.com]

I don't know if you are in *good* company per se, but compare to me, you are a saint.

[greatbearmd.livejournal.com]

Nah, you're a big ol' sweetheart. You just LOOK like you are ready to tear Godzilla's arms and legs off at the drop of a hat. ;)

[kdotdammit.livejournal.com]

Nods head. I try to not let it happen. I've gotten better at managing it. But oh boy, when the temper flares . . . look out. I hate bumping my head. It inspires immediate physical rage in me. I like you even more now that I know you occasionally heave giant objects.

[slothel.livejournal.com]

As much as I'm described as a "teddy bear", I have a temper. The fact that I'm described in such endearing terms is a testament to the fact that I managed to get the temper under control enough that I don't hurt people--the last one was Chris Spanoudis in eighth grade. I was sitting in the bleachers at a basketball game. He kicked me in the back of the head, and I told him to stop it. He did it again, and I told him to stop it. He laughed and did it again, and I told him to stop it, or I would stop him. He did it again, and I picked him up over my head and threw him off the bleachers.

It was enough that no one bothered me again during the rest of my middle school and high school careers. Fortunately for me, I spent that time learning to not let things get to that point.

[envirobear.livejournal.com]

I tend to be very verbal in those sort of situations, like when I recently tripped over my dog, and almost ate my stationary bike but DID tear a tendon while trying to keep from falling. The poor ol' pooch was cowering after I turned the air blue, and I had to turn from raging monster into comforting teddybear dad while I balanced an icepack on the injured knee. But I come by it honestly--I learned my rapid-fire cursing skills from my dad and my grandmother, a tiny wisened woman who could swear like a trooper and could curl the hair of crew-cut ball-scratching tobacco-spitting scarred-up men...LOL

Reading your entry makes me feel even more like you're a long-lost brother, Phil!

[wrascalism.livejournal.com]

I'm impressed you can chase sports cars with a Dodge Cummins!

[theoctothorpe.livejournal.com]

I believe notdefined has an audio recording of me being, shall we say, less than thrilled with the choices a fellow motorist made.

[redmoonriver.livejournal.com]

my temper ain't so great, either. Luckily(?) I'm small and know it so I'm usually too aware that I'll likely get hurt more than whatever it is I want to damage. *sighs*

[arktos62.livejournal.com]

I sometimes think my extreme patience is a curse. It means I can put up with the most extreme and unpleasant behaviour without making the effort to do anything about it. As I get older I realise this is unhealthy, and bottling things up only postpones the problem. So, I admire your approach of letting it all out. After the the thunder and lightning has subsided, the air is cleared and we move on. So, be true to yourself, my friend.

And I'll try to avoid being on the wrong end of one of your punches - man, what a left hook!

[dougoros.livejournal.com]

Me and road rage have been a couple ever since I started driving. My dad was a truck driver....back when truck drivers weren't trained at a "school" but were better , more professional in spite of it. I follow his lead, especially on the highway and when people have done something really stupid I've been known to follow them for many miles out of my way to "vent". Ang Gawd help you if you're in the passing lane doing the limit or lower......LOL

[cpj.livejournal.com]

I think you're in a pretty big boat. There are a lot of people our age who were never taught how to best express anger.

[ciddyguy.livejournal.com]

Oh I'm with ya Phil on the anger thing, not always but when people do stupid things, I get mad. Accidental stuff, not usually a problem for we all make mistakes, it's the ones who obviously do something because they can when they shouldn't.

I've had the nasty visions of breaking cell phones if they've been caught yapping or texting while driving, I've been known to ride one's bumper in the fast lane, honking and stuff to get them to move the f**k over when driving too slow, or people who putz along too slow even for the slow lane and not let you know of why (if driving w/ chains on during snowy weather on bare pavement w/out using their hazards for instance) and have been known to flip them the bird and have had the visions of smashing them against their own cars, wrecking said car etc, etc, etc, but nothing every really comes of them.

I've been known to get out behind slow pokes, stomp on it and zip past, giving them the evil bird as I whip right back in their lane, leaving them in the dust in the truck. :-)

[patrock.livejournal.com]

I don't have much road rage though I have been known to allow some errant drivers challenge physics as it relates to my 3/4 ton Ford Econoline. This usually results in screeching tires and a painful expression on the errant drivers face as the Econoline casually mangles, scratches and cracks their vehicle, continuing on it's course without so much as a tap on the brakes.

It's bliss I tell you.

Guitars on the other hand.... I have one Gibson SG thats in about 8 pieces now because I had smashed it and glued it back together multiple times until I couldn't anymore. I have an 70's Epiphone Coronet that I threw across a room during a recording session, snapping the (steel reinforced) neck in two places. Then a Dean Z Explorer that during a show in Tacoma, broke a string, so I continued singing, unstrapped the guitar and tossed it about 30 feet off stage, not missing one note of vocal.

I think I already told you about the G4 Quicksilver thats blood stained from when I put my fist through the front of it.

[patrock.livejournal.com]

and oh, Nextel claimed that those orange and black "tough" phones for construction workers were indestructable ......ha! .....after an argument with my ex, that thing was in more pieces than I could count.

[notdefined.livejournal.com]

It took me over 50 years to temper my temper and it still gets the best of me from time to time. My maternal grandmother was one that could fly into a rage at a moment's notice and so was my youngest sister. I credit escaping most of that due to a very strict upbringing by my parents, a very strict piano teacher and my time in the Navy. Lately, the Celexa helps a lot. That said, why do I find the description of your actions exciting?

[bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com]

you're not alone

the heating duct in the basement is still a tangled mess where, after the 20th time of it smacking me in the head, cause NObody's over 5'8", right? I took a crowbar to it.

so childish, so satisfying.

[notdefined.livejournal.com]

Replace it with flexi-pipe. You will still bang into it, but it is soft and won't hurt. :)

[bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com]

my sophisticated solution has been to not go down to the basement if at all possible.

[notdefined.livejournal.com]

hahaha. Good move.

[fingertrouble.livejournal.com]

1) if ever in a fight I want you backing me up ;-)

2) Rarely stay angry to damage anything, I blow over so quickly. Bark way worse than bite, believe me. Unless someone fucks with my partner or friends and then all bets are off...

I did bounce a Trium phone off the tarmac near the Cathedral in Hereford once, when I was lost in the freezing cold for ages and desperately trying to call the Hotel where John was waiting and it failed to connect for thw 1,000th time. Boy do those things fly apart easily...and weirdly I put it back together and it sort of worked, although even less happily than before...and various recalcitrant CDs/DVDs/floppy disks/tapes/leads/adapters have become highspeed wall-shattered frisbees...fairly minor compared to that, though.

I did once put a sledgehammer through a TV though. It's very satisfying but was for an artschool video where we all had a go, so doesn't really count. I'd recommend it (with protective eyewear) but it's probably really bad for the environment and surprisingly difficult for weak ol' me.

[beg1n.livejournal.com]

BigBadBearMD!

[nyrimmer.livejournal.com]

I have a friend who was just like this.He would get really pissed if things just didn't go right or something happened while we were working on cars. He'd yell and throw tools when he was really pissed. One day he went to the doctor for high blood pressure or some shit and they discovered a very large amount of adrenaline in him.It turned out he had a benign tumor on one of his adrenal glands and this is what was causing him to be like this. He had it removed and he's a different person.It was sort of like he had a lobotomy but not on his frontal lobe. Now he doesn't throw things anymore or punch grinders!

[bearlover.livejournal.com]

I was pretty bad with road rage this holiday season. More than a few people got a share of how well I play the horn.

[furr-a-bruin.livejournal.com]

Over time, I've developed a pretty long fuse... sure, I'll cuss if I whack my head on something, but most of my displays of "anger" are pretty minor.

This has the unfortunate side effect of occasionally leading some dimwit to think I don't HAVE much of a temper, and finding out the hard way how very wrong he is. Usually my response is verbal - but VERY loud, in what one person once described as a "command voice" - and pretty much all the filters drop, not just profanity.

[msclwolf.livejournal.com]

Lil ole me is far too laid back to get all het up about anything LOL However, is it only me who is seeing behaviour across contexts where 'anger' can then equal 'passion'? (heh heh)