Posting and feeling obligated

[greatbear]

I have not been posting much. Anyone paying attention would likely notice this. Thing is, I've always been a rather private, busy sort. I approached the internet in it's earliest days not just for being a techie/business/information resource, but as a way to kinda force myself to be more outgoing, to relate to people I don't know (yet) in a more personal, direct manner. Taking this track allowed me to dip my toe into the interpersonal relations waters minus the direct contact, which was always my stumbling block. You see, once I get to know someone, I'm at ease, the conversations flow, good times are to be had. I found the 'net to be the perfect 'ice breaker' for me, and it's treated me very well ever since.

Recently, though, I feel myself retreating a bit, and really not feeling much like socializing. The reasons are many, from being busy at work and with projects both here at home and up in PA with Jeff's parents, to finding myself seemingly brushed off by quite a few so-called friends that dont return calls or messages. So, I take the hint and replace social interaction with my old standbys like tinkering and projects, going to swap meets, music listening and other introspective pursuits. I'm happy as a clam with this sort of thing. Part of this feeling is probably from 'overextending' myself into the social realm, building a sort of dependence on other people for enjoyment. Well, people have their own lives, like me, and can't be counted on to be the most reliable friends. Rather than feel exposed, I minimized my interaction with a considerable amount of people and instead placed the onus of friendship in their hands. In quite a few (more than half) I was greeted with silence and inaction. Okay, now I know where not to concentrate efforts and instead focus on those that seem to really care. It's a start, I guess.

Now, I've said that I am mostly a rather private individual, and I'm a man of substance. The same internet that brought my out of my shell has changed over the years, and not in the best ways that suit my personality. Services like Facebook and Twitter feed on the minutiae of daily life, encouraging people to constantly publish their activities. This in itself is not intrinsically bad, but it's not for me. I signed up for Facebook as a means to keep in touch with others, and intend to try and use it for that purpose. But I can't constantly upload the droll happenings of my life just because I can, and if I happen to be doing something of note, well, why should I drop what I am doing and tell the world? LJ is like that for me in some ways too. I considered Twitter in the beginning, but thought better of it. All of these electronic gotchas are tinged with 'obligation', which is something I feel uncomfortable with. I am a great user of technology, but I feel like the tech is using me all too often.

All this being said, I intend to keep with my ramblings here on LJ. Unfortunately, a good many people from here have migrated into the 140-character-at-a-time worlds. I'll miss the substantive posts and deeper interactions that 'macroblogging' provides. If it finds readership and interaction, then I am happy.

PS: The New Queensryche album is awesome.

Comments

[envirobear.livejournal.com]

I'm in the same boat, Phil...I created a FB account because so many LJ friends had shifted over there...it was a way to keep up with them. But the longer I've been on there (despite only rarely logging in), the more annoyed I get with the 10-word posts and the scads of invitations to participate in obscure "kidnap" games, etc. One guy who I think quite highly of actually sent me something 8 kidnap requests, 10 safari requests, 9 tropical fish requests, and various other requests in 3 or 4 other FB applications...there hasn't been much other personal interaction beyond that, which makes me feel like I'm a game piece in a board game. Doing those 10-word posts just isn't me...I prefer putting some thought into what I write, so I develop and flesh-out *most* of what I eventually post here in LJ. And I don't post all that frequently, either. I view LJ as a writing tablet, and as an interactive experience that really helps some of us who aren't naturally verbal and expressive...to me, it's the difference between spending a Saturday night barhopping with two dozen friends (which sometimes CAN be fun), and having a more meaningful conversation with a half-dozen friends around a crackling campfire with the only interruptions being the crickets chirping in the dusk and the laughing of people who identify with you over a shared thought. Some people would even go so far as to say that it's an issue of quantity vs. quality. I'll stick primarily with LJ.