LJ stuffs

[greatbear]

Since LJ (along with Facebook and Twitter) has been dogged with usability and functional issues for a couple days now due to denial of service attacks, notifications of comments I have left in other journals that may have gotten responses have been spotty at best. So, if you said something in response to my responses, don't be surprised if I haven't responded. Poke me if you want more dialog.

I've also noticed that, boo of all hoos, I've been defriended by a few folk in recent months. Since these same people tend to write everything in locked entries, now that I have nothing to see, you're cast off like a used burger wrapper. Sorry, but that's life in LJ land. What gets me is the occasional drama that some people raise when people remove 'friends' from their lists and those people reciprocate. Hell, I've tried giving offers to those who have tired of my entries to pull the plug, only a few have ever taken me up on it. I felt I have to do something to cut back on my burgeoning reading list simply because I refuse to filter people off my default reading list. To me, that behavior is kinda dickwaddish. Then again, I have two, never used, LJ accounts. No entries, nada. Both of them have accumulated 'friends'. Go figure. Time for some cleanup I guess.

Comments

[beardoc.livejournal.com]

I'm of the belief that many of us that have been on LiveJournal for a while are all subject to a bit of "default view"-ing out of other people's lives. It's the easier way of not having to deal with someone whilst avoiding the drama of dropping people from your friends list. But I don't like it - it seems a bit odd, and a bit shady. So I haven't done it.

But it's interesting when you haven't gotten a comment or an email from someone in over a year or more - you do start to wonder...

[2stroker.livejournal.com]

I clear out the "dead wood" about twice a year.No drama I just do it and it's done.The way I see it is if they don't post anything I want to read or respond to any of my posts why bother having them cluttering up my friends list.I think there are only really 10 or 15 people I really have as LJ friends now and that's just fine with me.

[mcbulldawg.livejournal.com]

Simplify! :)

Less clutter... no drama! :)

oh.. and Hi by the way!

[greatbearmd.livejournal.com]

'allo! :)

[mcbulldawg.livejournal.com]

I hope you weren't taken aback by my cheeky comment to your comment you left in my journal.

*grin*

[greatbearmd.livejournal.com]

Which one?

[mcbulldawg.livejournal.com]

The one about me staring at your cock? ;)

[greatbearmd.livejournal.com]

LOL I didnt see it!

[eric-mathgeek.livejournal.com]

I have a reading list, filtering out a few folk. I suppose I see why you think it's "dickwaddish" behavior but -- is it any worse to know I'm just going to skip over every post they make?

It's a way to let them continue to read my friends-only entries, if they care to, without feeling like I need to read every one of theirs. And I can (and do) still now and then pop over to their journals to see what's going on.

[greatbearmd.livejournal.com]

I guess I had not thought about giving the ability of reading locked posts to people. It was more a case of 'why keep them if you never plan on reading or interacting with them'.

[fingertrouble.livejournal.com]

I never understood that tit for tat 'I'll defriend you if you defriend me' - kind of explains what kind of relationship they wanted (ie a number) and probably filtered out your blog anyway - something I have never done, I read (which might be skip if it's something I'm not interested in!) all my friendslist.

And reversely if someone has gotten really negative, less interesting, stopped posting (although I tend to leave those in cos I would like to still read them when I do) or has banned me from commenting on their blog (I think that is pretty final; even so I've left people in my FL as a sort of reminder that I still want to be friends, if I don't know why - I don't usually hold grudges, people have queen-attacks and go off one - I'm still here if they want to resume).

But really it is odd all the politics, you shouldn't have to apologise for defriending someone when you're not interested in reading them or their drama is stressing you out. Easy come easy go is how it should be...and people change.

[greatbearmd.livejournal.com]

My entry does not highlight something that happened recently, it was some time in the past.If someone de-lists me, no big deal. I will usually keep on reading their entries, the main reason I came to their journal in the first place. The Drama Llama trotted in when said individual removed a few folks - including me - from their list and those people reciprocated by doing the same, me included. Why? Because the entire journal had become frendslocked. Only a single public post containing a somewhat snarky picture about being "friends only" was available to anyone not part of the inner circle. Not unusual, but there was soon a very public post condemning the couple dozen or so who took their leave. This person did not take into consideration that he had left some people with no reason to remain, yet got all pissy about it, and got even nastier when told the reason. Who needs that crap?

I don't like the numbers games either. Ultimately I have no idea why I have over 400 people reading my stuff. I know I am not super witty, nor a prolific writer or someone that would somehow appeal to a wide audience for the most part. Yet, here they are, and I almost feel obligated to treating them kindly for their time. So I go on and do what I do. I guess I am not keen on being yelled for leaving once the door is shut in my face and locked, and I'm already a good way down the walk. Make sense?

[fingertrouble.livejournal.com]

Yes it makes total sense...I've been tempted to go friends-only but the fact it locks out new people as well as some idiots is the reason why I don't..

I think with social media you have to be very careful who you add - it's like celebrity in micro form - the idea that people you admire are accessible is wonderful, but usually a necessary and managed illusion for good reasons - this is why most celebs keep their distance, and might have 5million people following them but only respond to a few. It's this idea that you're 'friends' to those 400 or 4000 or 4000000 - obviously you're not to a large part of them.

The illusion of knowing a person is quite a strong one it seems, and people get lost in that, from Twitter number games and celebs to the Dalai Drama on LJ.

Whereas most people are acquaintances at best; and only tend to respond/follow for fairly shallow reasons - fancying someone, further their career, wanting to be in their social group, or seeing them naked or something. Sad but true. Not everyone is like this, but on Twitter and LJ they are quite a few of them. Whereas I'm about the quality of the conversation - if it's from a beautiful man all the better - but really, if there's nothing there I defriend and go elsewhere...and my Facebook is very limited to who I know personally - interestingly I find the quality of the feedback higher and conversation tends to be more.

Maybe that's what the friendslocking people are doing; but I suspect it's far more queenier and bitchier - but there is a role for both.

[musklebear.livejournal.com]

We're acting like we're reading, but we're really just beating off looking at your pics.

Spoo shot friends only!
*giggle*

[ciddyguy.livejournal.com]

I don't have the defriending notificaton on and someone told he how that's done, but never wrote it down and thus can't remember but I know people have defriended me over the years and now with the little thing in the banner letting us know who's our mutual friend, it more or less works as some journals don't show it but I find out I'm still their friend when I still get their occasional locked post.

And there are others that I've stopped reading and such and have dropped and some of them may still be my friend on their end but never bother to comment.

I don't get huge comments most of the time anyway from most but there are those who are more likely to comment in my journal than others but even so, some posts I hope I stay as their friend so I can read their posts and comment when I can/need to.

But in the end, I try not to feel slighted when I find out certain people leave my journal as they probably got tired of what I write about, it's not all fun and glamor and it's sometimes as you've noted, my struggles to get ahead, not so much now but in the past etc but who really knows why some drop you and simply do so without saying a word.

Then again, who knows why some friend you and read your journal. I do think a lot of my posts don't REQUIRE comments but some do anyway, which is nice.

I may need to look through and see what, if any I need to drop but I don't filter readers unless it becomes warranted for I rarely do anything NSFW and even if I do, it's more than likely behind a cut.

[fingertrouble.livejournal.com]

"Then again, who knows why some friend you and read your journal. I do think a lot of my posts don't REQUIRE comments but some do anyway, which is nice."

very true - although I've never worked out the arbritary nature. Some life-changing events - like deaths, breakups, addiction breakdowns etc - you kind of expect some feedback; it's not just posting about your lunch or dog. It seems that even there, the cynical side of me suspects that the reason I've posted stuff like that in the past and others get millions of comments is that people fancy them.

I might be wrong, and again falling prey to the numbers game; but I went off LJ's false idea of a community when I posted about my almost-step brother (in all but marriage) killing himself on LJ, Twitter and FB because it upset me deeply. Total comment across the whole of them: 1.

You then realise who your friends are, or aren't.

[ciddyguy.livejournal.com]

Indeed and I've had posts of that nature and have had some comments, not a lot always and often it's the timing of the post that largely determines how many you get or not as many don't bother commenting on the previous day's post if they don't catch it that day.