It gets old after a while

[greatbear]

I'm pretty good at a lot of things. Many people know that. It benefits me greatly, and others as well. Eventually, this ends up in a scenario such as this:

Friend: Hey, Phil. I'm having problems with x. Can you help me?
Me: Sure.

Repeat scenario, substitute different value for x. Repeat, oh, hundreds or thousands of times over the years. Hey, it's me, it's what I do well, I enjoy helping others. I really do.

One thing I have difficulty with is actually asking for help for myself. Reasons are myriad, I don't like to impose, I work better alone, I have ridiculously high standards at times, etc. But I sometimes cannot avoid it, especially if I am sick, injured, or simply it's more than I (or Jeff and I) can handle. This is how such a scenario unfolds:

Me: Hey, buddy. I need help with x. I normally don't bother people for help, but I sure could use a hand, especially since I (insert malady here). Whattaya say?
Friend: I'd really like to help, but y. Maybe next time?

Repeat, entering different excuses for y. And for just about every instance of (Friend).

And so I am truly reminded of why I don't ask for help. It hurts much less if I just injure myself overdoing it.

Comments

[thetarnishedowl.livejournal.com]

I hear you. I rarely ask for help, either. Better at giving it. But I think part of it is a numbers game - ask more often and you'll get it. Also, might it be that when you ask for help people know it's something BIG because otherwise you wouldn't ask? Lots of folks shy away from bigger commitments. And they forget the goodwill you've banked if it's convenient to forget. But if you think back, I bet you can remember times when you did get help. You might just be focusing right now on the "no" answers.

[texwriterbear.livejournal.com]

I completely understand what you are saying. There are a very few in my office who I will ask for help, but there are plenty who will come to asking for help on a daily basis. It's no fun, but sometimes it's how things go. It sucks.

[maxauburn.livejournal.com]

This is how it is for me, too.

I mean, most people won't actually be my friend, but they know I am good at cleaning, yardwork, housework, putting things together from kits like furniture, etc, and other things, so they want me to do things for them.. rare is it that I can get help, myself, and so, I must do many things alone that are actually too much for me, but I do them, anyway, because I have to.

That really sucks, you know?

(((ULTRA - HUGS)))

[genxcub.livejournal.com]

I am the Las Vegas gay tech support. Someone got the latest virus on their machine (for the 5th time), or a new wireless router, or X program (that I've never seen) isn't working right, ad infinitum.

[redmoonriver.livejournal.com]

*HUGS*

[fogbear.livejournal.com]

I feel your pain. Though I do have one person I can always count on for help.

[ciddyguy.livejournal.com]

Really what it boils down to is this, people need to think outside of themselves and to others for a change.

This plus aspirin.

[fuzzyjay.livejournal.com]

"I'm afraid that won't be possible." Repeat as needed.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/may/08/change-life-asker-guesser

[msclwolf.livejournal.com]

Now then my good man, I so hope you are remembering who is NOT coming to your aid when needed, and if they again approach YOU then you might have a weeny bit more incentive to put them off or just flatly decline. Get working on your answers/excuses NOW, though I do find that reading them off little cards does not tend to be effective in real life....... unless you are like an uber actor (tee hee)

[eric-mathgeek.livejournal.com]

Wow, that's.... appalling.

I'd be taking names.

[furrbear.livejournal.com]

*sigh* At work or at home, I know how this feels. It's been worse lately with Dave in the hospital.

[fattastic.livejournal.com]

Man, I know exactly how you feel. I think being tech savvy and smart is more of a curse than a blessing.

[kspsibear.livejournal.com]

I'm with you, buddy. I feel the same way. I've come up with my set of "y" excuses for those people. A lot of times, putting those people off allows them to "fend for themselves" a bit or seek out their alternate source of "x-helpers."

[rockybear02.livejournal.com]

OK why does that all make sense to me?