greatbear | Now what?

Ever get that sinking feeling that something is really wrong? Well, I'm right in the midst of it right now. While having my ct scan done Thursday the technicians seemed to have spent an unusually long time from the time my scan was done before the one came in and said I was done. She was a bit uneasy compared to when I had arrived, saying that my doctor should have the results for me the next day or Monday. Okay, fine. I've had plenty of ct scans done before, and those times when there was nothing truly serious, things moved along lightly and rather brisk. While at work on Friday I get not one but two messages on the machine here at home urging me in for a follow-up visit, one from the staff, one from my doctor. He too seemed a bit more serious in tone than usual. More red flags. Does not help that a couple days ago I had a bout with the most serious nosebleeds I have ever had. Not sure exactly the cause, but I am assuming I bopped myself in the face when I was startled awake by the phone in the middle of the night. My nose hurt like it was hit, then the blood started flowing. And flowing. And, yes, I was alone at the time. Anyone who has slept with me (hush now) knows that I am a kicking, twitching squirmfest in my sleep. My nose would start bleeding again, taking 20 minutes or more to stop. Five or so occurances of this. It's been okay now for the last couple days.

You know? I really dont need anything else truly serious like this in my life, especially when it comes to my own health. I don't "sick" well at all. I help others when they are sick. I prefer to remain alone when I am ill.

Maybe it's nothing. Maybe it's something truly awful. I'm hoping for the former. I'll be expecting something approaching the latter.