The Manic Mechanic

I guess I should update this thing somewhat, and expand upon my previous post showing my leg in an aircast. I've been plagued with Achilles's tendinitis in my left ankle for a few years now. It's mostly been a background issue that would flare up every now and then. In recent months (well, probably about a year now) it has gotten bad enough where I would favor my right leg and walk flat-footed on the left, ending up with a limp. The past month or so started to become unbearable, and with our trip to P-Town in the dumpster, I decided to take care of it. The doc's course of action is to immobilize the joint for about three months, along with various rehab/treatments such as e-stim, ultrasound treatments, stretching, icing, etc.. I'm stuck in the boot otherwise. I can honestly say I feel a slight, albeit noticeable reduction in pain since being fitted with the contraption. But it has not been without other consequences.

I'm trying to get used to daily life with this thing on. It's not easy. I have to clomp around every where I go, I've lost my balance on more than a few occasions now and took a couple of spills. I've increased my bull-in-a-china-shop factor by an order of magnitude, whereupon I've crashed this contraption into various items, knocking stuff down and generally felt stupid and clumsy. Most of all, my mood has not been pleasant, my fuse far shorter than usual. Jeff has unapologetically told his parents how awful I've become, making me want to avoid him just as much as people in general. Sleeping with this thing on is no fun as you'd imagine, and because of the thrashing and tossing I end up doing in order to try and get comfortable, I now sleep alone. Jeff won't admit it, but he's far better off these days and knows it. I've kicked myself in my sleep with the aircast; it feels like someone threw a small television at the foot of the bed. I eventually manage to get some rest, but it's not peaceful at all.

I'm still in a state of flux pertaining to work, as I have not gotten an okay to return to work from the doctors. I'm also trying to find out if having hernia surgery will interfere with rehab of the ankle (my guess is no, but the doctors might think otherwise). I'd like to take care of both of these conditions concurrently to minimize downtime. I am also not sure yet even if my short-term disability pay has been approved. If it hasn't, I am going to cancel everything and force a return to work, as I cannot afford being screwed over like this again. My employer has shifted such administration to an external agency (Unum Provident) which is known for denying valid claims. I'll know later this week if this is the case. Either way, my stress levels are through the roof.

Speaking of stress levels, I've been trying my best to keep myself occupied with various little projects and other mild entertainment to pass the time. Some of this has been successful. Some, like tonight, has been costly. Trying to rewire a rather expensive bathroom light fixture proved to be my undoing (again) causing me to lose it and destroy the fixture. This is not the only thing I have gotten all Angry Alan on since being 'disabled'. In other cases I just get overwhelmed by frustration of having to go it alone on so many things that need to be done around here. I guess I should not be trying to fix a three foot deep sink hole in my driveway, but it would not get done otherwise. And it would be just my luck if someone wandered over to it and somehow got hurt.

So, there it is. Rather than try to go back and answer so many queries and comments as to what happened, this is the explanation. And, as Jeff will nearly break his neck nodding in agreement, I just don't "sick well". But this is born out of the feeling that when I am in such a situation, I am truly alone in ultimately dealing with it. It's overwhelming at times.