The Manic Mechanic

Sometimes life throws you some lemons.

We didn't make any plans for Valentine's Day. We rarely do, and in those rare occasions where we do, it usually is a quiet night at home. Not worth trying to find a restaurant with the crowds and bustle, etc.. For this year, it was just as well we didn't plan anything, after all, there was the nasty storm that lasted for two days, dumping over a foot of snow on us and forcing Jeff to take up residence at a hotel for two nights close to work because he is essential personnel. I waited until today to tackle literally tons of wet snow, made worse by the rainy, sleety intermission yesterday afternoon between two furious acts of crystalline white horror. The dogs as well as myself suffering a bit of cabin fever as well as missing the major component that makes our little unconventional (yet still totally valid) family a complete, happy unit.

It then appeared things weren't so bad after all.

The weather today was bright and sunny, and, especially considering the snow situation, downright warm. So warm in fact, were it not for the blowback from the snowblower, I could've quite comfortably cleared all the snow in my t-shirt and jeans. I let the dogs out, who had lots of fun running, chasing and carousing in the snow. I dispatched all of the snow from the driveways and the walks, along with some paths from the house, garage and woodshed, saving the three foot high snowbank left by the plowing of the street for last, a means to keep the dogs corralled. As I was just finishing up, I ran over a branch that was hidden in the snow that jammed the augers and broke a shear pin. I was essentially stuck, with about eight feet or so of snow to get through till my freedom, but instead I had to jostle and wrestle the 350 pound machine manually through the snow. I made it, putting the machine in the garage and assessing the damage. I couldn't remember where I put the spare pins (these are made to break in cases just like this, it save the transmission in the machine from damage, instead breaking a sacrificial, two dollar pin). I head back into the house to take off my wet clothes and finally get something to eat, and the phone rang. It was Jeff, coming home early from work. Perfect timing, I got the driveways and walks cleared for his safe arrival. I greet him at his truck in my underwear (he practically dared me) where he surprised me with a beautiful flower arrangement. Picture a man wearing a t-shirt and tighty-whities standing amongst a foot or more or rapidly melting snow trying best not to cry and failing. That was me.

We talked about what to do this evening. I needed to go and get parts for the snowblower (there's potential for even more snow). He needed to take his clothes to the cleaner in order to have them ready Saturday. There are restaurants not far from the Home Depot. It's not even four o'clock yet. Bingo! Honey, I'm taking you out for Valentine's Day dinner. And off we went.

My mother used to always say to me through the years, "Things have a way of working out." Well, today was a perfect example of just that. An interesting convergence of seemingly unrelated events major and minor. Circumstances that aligned just right to make for a very pleasant, surprising outcome. I got my parts, we had a nice dinner, and got back with plenty of time to avoid the traffic, crowds and whatnot and still enjoyed our quiet night at home.

Life tossed a few nice, ripe lemons our way. But it made for some rather sweet lemonade after all. Or perhaps lemon snowcones, as the case may be.

So, today is Valentine's Day. The day has meant something quite different for me over the years, compared to the traditional meaning that it has for the majority of people. In the case of the latter, most love, loathe or pretty much ignore the holiday. As is typical with "Hallmark Holidays", as they are derisively known, it is when the prices for flowers and chocolates rise to meet the inevitable demand. However, like so many things in life, it is the thought behind the gestures that has the meaning. For me, it was always a day to do something nice for my Mom. Even though her birthday was four days ago, the day had its significance because "Valentine" is my mother's first name. It is pronounced "Valentina", but during her emigration from the Soviet Union during WWII, she had misspelled her name on various documents. Rather than change it to the more common spelling, she kept it as is. It was unique in comparison to so many other names. As a kid, I always said it was "her day" and went out of my way to make it nice for her. These days I think people understand why, like on the day of her birthday, I feel downtrodden and sad, yet another reminder of loss. It's not all bad, though, as I have many fond memories going back four-and-a-half decades.

So, this morning started early, but I was mostly preoccupied in my thoughts and memories. A good friend of mine is currently closing down his auto repair business due to various economic reasons, so I am helping him move his tools, machinery and such from the building to his home, where it will stay until he finds new digs and a place to hang his shingle for business, hopefully with business partners that know how to better run an auto repair business other than into the ground.

Before I left to go help out, I had noticed the latest Google "doodle" on the home page. As much as I often distrust Google as a huge monolithic enterprise bent of taking over the internets, these little bits of date-specific artwork often make my day. Today was definitely one of those times:

This little piece of cuteness really "gets it." Watch carefully at the end for the funny and thought provoking other reasons why this works so well. I had forgotten all about what I searched for, the little distraction made my day as well as choked me up a bit.

I then go and help out my buddy, moving tools, stock and machinery that was far heavier than I should have attempted. I ended up with some of it as my own, the rest taken to his now stacked-to-the-rafters suburban garage. He is having the same, if not worse problems with his back as well as other health issues, where just trying to function normally is oftentimes beset with excruciating pain. The thing that really got me, though, is the look of abject defeat in his expression. A beaten man, the garage and home is also under a dark cloud of foreclosure. I wish I could do more to help. I can't help but feel how unfair life can be, and my faith in humanity turns into a cold stone of contempt for those who have made this poor guy's life so difficult (it's a long, convoluted story I won't delve in to here, mainly out of respect of privacy).

I collect my share of the pickings along with my now overworked body and come home, smelling of stale racing gas and other garage odors. Jeff is home, of course. I start to go off to the bathroom to clean up and wash the stink off, and I notice the beautiful bouquet of roses, the chocolates, and the card. Once again my hardened heart cracks, I become a gushing sop, I go back to Jeff, give him a nice long hug, and appreciate the reminder that I do indeed have someone still in my life who cares a lot for me. Outside of this house, those who do are few and far between, making them that more precious to me. I'm including those of you here on LJ that have shown me kindness and love through the years. So, today might be a dubious holiday for some, but it still has a special meaning to me, even if it's not like it had started out all those years ago.

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone.

*warms up transmitters, sets optimum grid and plate currents, tunes antenna array for optimum SWR as I prepare to break radio silence*

Precisely one year ago my Jeff was in the hospital, connected to all manner of diagnostic equipment after having a stent placed in his heart due to a major heart attack. Thanks to the incredible work of so many fine folks at Howard County General as well as the EMTs, he's very much alive, comfortable at home and is sleeping quietly. One whole year passed us by already, how time flies. I don't know what I'd do without him, but I am gonna do all I can to keep him around for a long, long time.

Jeff currently has a cumbersome cast on his right arm after having carpal tunnel and ulnar nerve duct surgery this past Thursday morning. About a month ago he had the same thing (minus the elbow thing) done on his left wrist, he has been recovering nicely from that procedure. Tomorrow he goes to see his cardiologist for a checkup of sorts, and to make some decisions regarding ongoing medicines and treatment. Next year, depending on what he learns starting tomorrow, he will have to undergo yet another procedure to remove some rather large growths on his thyroid, and possibly the thyroid gland itself. We'll tackle that as it comes. Together.

Of course, I have been helping him out as much as I can, and even doting on him a bit too much. Yesterday I made some totally rockin' ham'n'bean soup. It was all I could do to keep Jeff out of the kitchen and try my hand at this, and he needs the rest. It was a bit of a milestone for me as well, as I basically went into all those memories of Mom making soups throughout the years, throwing stuff together from scratch and having it cook for a good part of the afternoon, filling the house with smells that dug up so many memories, and at times I had to quietly go off and quell some emotions that were trying to get the better of me. You see, the holidays, a fire in the woodstove, and home cooking remind me of how much I lost, as well as all of those wonderful days in the past. I still feel as though I am invading Mom's space, but I feel less of that as I conquer these personal barriers one by one. I am pretty certain that Mom would have approved wholeheartedly of my effort. Jeff the Chef did. There is no reason Jeff and I can't make our own wonderful memories as time marches on either. We might not be in the best of health, but we are still here, and we'll do all we can to hang around for a long time to come.

I hope this post finds those reading well.

*throws transmitter back into standby, but leaves the tubes aglow*

Today marks me and Jeff's ninth year together. I think we've seen a lot in all those years, good and bad, happy and sad. He's all I have now. And that makes me very glad. Love ya, honey!