Five years

Jun. 30th, 2011 02:05 am
greatbear: (me and mom)
Today marked five years since I lost my Mom to cancer. Five years already. It seems like it was just last week. I tried to keep a positive outlook, and that was made a bit easier by focusing on trip preparations and picking up a camping guest. But it finally started to get to me when everyone else went to sleep. It's not a bad thing, though.

I'm finally able to stand aside from my loss and the heavy mental baggage it comes with, and make solid moves with my life. I am able to do the gardening and other tasks that were so close to Mom's creative and recreational side, that I am able to have them make me feel better and enjoy those things in the way that she used to. I think she would be proud. And I am no longer feeling so much that I am "raiding her territories."

I still miss my Mom terribly, and I will do so until my last breath. I also won't say that I have "moved on", it's more like "moved along", carrying with me all the good she imparted into my life.
greatbear: (old graybeard)
I hope tonight I can get some decent sleep. Having the weekend allowed a sleep-in, but I avoided naps. I'll be heading to bed soon and hopefully get myself back in sync with normal time cycles and work.

Climbing on ladders all over the basement and stooping in the attic all weekend allowed me to finish all the gigabit LAN drops throughout the house plus finally wire up the beginnings of the whole (or at least a few rooms eventually)-house speaker/music system. After getting things tested it was time for the real show. I hit the power on the home theater PC and... nothing. Not good. Open it up, find the standby LED lit but nothing happens when pushing the power switch. Jumpering the ATX power connector to manually kickstart the power supply also gets nothing. Digging into it's ridiculously tight interior to sub another power supply finds success, so time for a new power supply. This is the first PC Power and Cooling power unit I've had die on me. I had planned on pulling it out for some other use and replacing it with a quiet one anyway, but this forced the issue. I ordered a 650W version of the 850W Antec Signature power supply I had gotten for the domain server. It's super quiet, highly efficient and very high quality. Being a long-time power supply nerd, I know good design when I see it, and just had to have another one of these babies. Those wondering why I didnt just use the power supply I used as a sub, it's for the same reason I excised it from the server- the thing (A PC Power and Cooling Silencer 750W EPS Quad) is a rats nest of permanently-attached cabling. Since the domain server got filled with more hardware I literally could not close up the case without quite a bit of difficulty, much like sitting on a suitcase to latch it. It was like stuffing Cthulhu into a phone booth. The new one has the necessary cabling permanently attached, with removable, modular cabling that can be changed depending on the configuration of the PC. There is no room in there as it is, I need to tidy it up, and the silent operation compared to the original will be very welcome.

While placing the order for the power supply, I tossed in a HP 24-port managed gigabit switch to finish up the LAN project. For the record, about 18 ports will be put to use right away. Yeah, I know, it's crazy. I really want to put all the PC stuff aside and move on to other things that need attention so I can simply sit back and enjoy things for a change. The house and garage absolutely need new roofs this springtime. I want to take our vacation in P-Town this year knowing I dont have to worry about bad roofs, dodgy doors and general yard untidiness. I am feeling like I am catching up not only on projects, but life in general. The last few years have been rough on me for all those reasons I wrote about during that time. I hope that I continue making good progress in this respect. I owe it to myself, Mom, Jeff and all of those close to me.

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Phil

December 2016

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