I have been silent in these parts for the past few days since I got home from surgery, and, as I alluded to in the post prior to that one, extended silence means something went wrong. I gave it till the end of this week and I have stabilized, but not in a good way. The surgery did help alleviate the constant numbness and pain that kept me from getting sleep of any quality. Scarring from my previous procedure was removed along with a chunk of herniated disc that broke away and wedged tight against my spinal cord. This was thought to be the cause of all my symptoms including the stabbing sciatic nerve pain shooting down my left leg. After the procedure was done, I basically shook off the anesthesia, performed a self-test for the nurses and doc to make sure things more or less worked, and I was dumped into Jeff's truck for the ride home. I was still achy and stabby and numb, but a lot of that was leftover from the procedure itself.

Or so I thought.

After coming home I found I could not stand upright or use my cane, so I used my POS walker to get into the house, sit down and begin healing. I was back to needing the tool box stack on wheels to get around, but I figured once I got some recovery in, I'd be fine. Crawling into bed that night was a nice surprise, as I was able to finally stretch my legs out with no pain (or far, far less, not entirely pain free) and conk out for a few hours continuously. I discovered soon enough when I woke up that the sciatic nerve pain was indeed still present, and in fact, far worse. I fumed about it for a couple days as it didn't get better, and me being me and assessing situations like I do, I came to a conclusion that I shared with the doc when I called the other day. My "diagnosis" is I actually have two separate injury sites, and only one was actually tended to. By removing the constrictions around my spinal cord, I am freed from the pain the constant pressure was causing, and as a result, the original weakness and numbness was mitigated as well. In simpler terms, the "signal" coming from my lower half is now clearer and without the short circuit that was pinching it off. The problem is, I also have a sciatic nerve pinch closer to my left leg, most likely at the base of the spine well below where this current work was performed. With this new high definition signal path in place, the already excruciating at times stabbing pain has taken on Dolby Digital THX 9.2 channel 3D IMAX proportions. With no attenuator in the signal path, this shit really, really hurts, especially when, if I am in a relaxed position, things are fine. If I stand and let my lower spine begin to take my full upper body weight, instant and excruciating pain. I can actually feel the vertebra stacking against one another right before the pain hits. I asked the doc for a methylpred dose pack once more in an effort to at least knock back the intensity of the pain. It's a long shot, but I'll try anything at the moment. I took the initial round today, if there are any improvements to be had, they will begin to appear in the next few days.

I guess I don't have to say I am one very miserable cuss right now, unable to do much more than lay in bed or sit for short periods in a chair diddlefarting online. Certain motions get me howling in pain, I can't leave the house nor go downstairs or anywhere else the walker or the toolbox stack won't go. I've stumbled and fallen a few times already and the act of catching myself feels as though I'm being attacked with a hatchet to the back, my resulting screams sending the poor dogs under tables and beds or scurrying into far rooms or downstairs. Being totally unable to do anything that normally takes my mind off of things makes me feel like I am in the worst kind of prison. The drugs, pain and inactivity also play hell with my gastrointestinal tract, adding a very directed insult to the injuries I am already beset with. The suffering pooches suffer that much more, as I am completely unable to take them outside much less for a walk, leaving Snickles to whimper knowing he'll only end up crapping in the house. I can let Kodi out on his own, he will do his business and return. Snickles needs to be on a leash, and he likes to do his business far from the house after walking. Jeff does this right after coming home from work, and Snickles, to his credit, seems to be holding it in better than I expected. Both dog's know something is up with me. They are both very appreciative of my return to somewhat normal sleeping, they will stay with me in bed from when Jeff leaves in the morning (between 4-5am) until I might finally get out of bed for good much later, like today at almost noon.

Poor Jeff has tasked himself with taking care of me and, honestly, I truly would be lost without him. He took a bit of time off to take me to and from the surgery and stay with me the following day to make sure I was okay. Work has been very, very busy for him and dealing with me is only a further burden. We were originally going to head to PA this weekend in order to visit his dad, plus mom in the nursing home plus some other things as well as get away from it all. I can't go, obviously, but I insisted he head up tomorrow to see his mom before the holiday, spend needed time with his dad. Dad misses both of us even more these days since mom is no longer at the house. Jeff needs a break away from me more than ever, and I hope the weekend gives him that. He will take Da Snick with him and leave me with the less-of-a-handful Kodi. I will wake up tomorrow (hopefully!) and try to make do with the hand I've been dealt for now.

So what do I think is in my future? I will have to get a new MRI spanning a far more expansive view of my lower back and hip region. The docs will find an impingement site and, due to the scoliosis and advanced disc degeneration, want to fuse a couple if not more of my vertebrae together as a more permanent fix. Anyone who has kept up with my problem here will remember I hurt myself not once, but twice before I was completely incapacitated. The first time probably herniated the disc, causing me the numbness, the second time most likely collapsed my lower spine, making the sciatic nerve pain the worst I ever had. The surgery will be far more invasive, the recovery time quite long, and, most likely, I will be considered permanently disabled at that point. When I had asked my doc for signed paperwork for a handicapped parking placard like I had before, this time he made it out for a permanent (blue) one, rather than the usual red ones I had while I recovered. He knows what I do already, and probably a bit more. I will have to make permanent changes in my life to accommodate this ongoing ordeal, and hope that I can restore at least some of my mobility without pain. Once I know a bit more where I'm headed here, I will file paperwork to apply for disability assistance. I hope to hell I can shake it off and do something real for a living, as it stand now, if I can't do the usual stuff just around here that makes me happy, as varied as it is, there's not much incentive for me to love life anymore. It will just be existing.

I guess I should post an update regarding my health sitch, it has been a while. As usual, when I am sick or hurting, I tend to keep quiet and to myself. The quiet part is up for debate lately, as not a day goes by that I am not growling if not downright shrieking at the top of my pipes in pain at least a couple times a day and/or night. The sound effects are not nearly as bad as early on in my ordeal, but opportunities do present themselves, unfortunately.

I have a surgery date set for this Monday. Originally scheduled for December 11, then moved up to the day prior to Thanksgiving, this latest date is much better, earlier relief notwithstanding. Not so close to the holidays, better chance of getting resolutions if anything were to go awry by not being up against the holidays. While not as involved as my first back surgery, I am still slated for 90 minutes of operating room time. I should give Jeff the laptop so he's not bored out of his skull waiting.

This time there are two procedures being done, a revision laminectomy and a disc fragment excision. The former is a cleaning up of scar tissue built up in the aftermath of my much more invasive laminectomy procedure from 2010. Apparently the scar tissue has increased over time and coupled with my latest injury this has put pressure on the spinal cord in that general area. The other procedure is needed to remove a "free fragment" of ruptured disc that has split off from the mothership and has wedged tightly in the spinal canal in an area where lamina remains and is pinching off the spinal cord. This chunk will be removed as well. I will see if the doc will put it in a jar for me to bring home for show & tell. Like an old car being taken in for repairs, I like to get my old parts back.

I'm hoping the recovery from this operation is not anything like the previous. There were complications apparently and it took months before I could feel much from above the knees down, and I was beset with balance problems and lots of falling down. This time the operation is not as widespread (mostly confined in a space between L3 and L4, originally was L4, L5 and S1 plus a bit above and below) and no bone saws are needed. I will most likely need a round or two of physical therapy afterward once I've healed up enough to accommodate the exercise.

I am also on track to set a new record for myself, but not for the right reasons. Once all is said and done and before I am adequately recovered, I might end up weighing less than 200 pounds for the first time since 10th grade. Normally weight loss is a good thing, especially before and after a difficult medical procedure, and this will help me out in most respects. My appetite is not the best when I am sick or hurting, and given I've been in lots of pain and taking all manner of nasty drugs since late September, my want for food is not at typical levels. Some of the drugs and side effects caused food not to taste or smell the best either, compounding the issue. This is fine in and of itself, but the yucky result of drugs and bad eating habits resulted in near constant bouts of constipation and a badly impacted colon. So there is an insult to injury at play here making me want to eschew food entirely. This is tough to do with a chef with a career in healthcare food services watching out for me, and I thank my honey for providing well in the sustenance department. Dealing with the impacted colon is a matter I took into my own hands, saving Jeff another trip in the middle of the night to take me to the ER again. I'll spare y'all the TMI. The sadder part of the weight loss comes from the rather severe atrophy of my legs and other muscles, especially the left leg which is the main target of the nerve pain. Apparently the leg pain, despite it being "virtualized" in my lower back by scrambled nerves and not a result of actual injuries to any part of the leg itself triggers a kind of wasting process the same as if the leg were somehow actually badly injured, in my case and by the type of pain, badly burned. Jeff told the doc it is if I were affected by polio, my left leg being practically a stick compared to the right, and the right leg itself being atrophied by all the non-use. I had already lost a considerable amount of muscle mass in both legs the result of the previous nerve problems and a really bad case of Achilles tendonitis in the left leg a couple years prior to that. This has caused me a great deal of body image issues in those years as I was rather proud of having very powerful and muscular kegs. This can be remedied, of course, if all goes well with the operation and I am back on my feet and can do some decent working out to bring back at least some of my former glory. Being a middle-aged old fart with too many years racking up on an increasingly creaky old body precludes my ever having 21 inch calves that doubled as a car jack in my younger days.

I guess the latest, most unexpected slap in the face came today when the surgery center called to confirm my appointment and to make sure I brought along all the recent MRI films, required paperwork, insurance cards and ID and all that stuff and to, oh, make sure to bring along about six thousand dollars for my share of the procedure costs. I mean, WTF? I guess they don't believe in billing patients after procedures anymore, or that everyone has six grand in their pockets. Granted, I live in one of the richest counties in the US (We're number two! We're number two!), but really, c'mon. I knew I would be socked with a lot of costs (again) but I never expected to be plunking down a big wad of cash coming in the door as if I were putting a down payment on a Lexus. Thanks, Obama!

I moved a hunk of money out of my normally untouched savings to deal with the health issues as well as some needed (and wanted) upgrades to the house, so the shakedown by the Piccard Medical Center (make it sutured!) won't have me panhandling, but it's the psychological hit that only added to a long punch list of frustrations, emotions, cabin fever, stir craziness, self-worth crises, boredom and a litany of mental sandbags weighing heavily on my brain of late. I am honestly doing my best to hold it all together, as it were, but cracks do appear. Luckily Jeff is only a party of a smaller portion of these, but the ones he witnesses can be doozies. My cane came out from under me as Jeff took me to the doc yesterday for the final consultation before being knifed in the back, I beat the cane on the asphalt until is was more like a boomerang. Thankfully the consultation meant everything was in line for a relatively easy procedure and we went out for dinner afterward. I get cranky when I am hurt, and I am almost completely unable to do all those little (and big) projects I love doing that keeps my mind healthy and leaves me with a sense of accomplishment. You've read about them many times. Yes, I like to relax and unplug once in a while, but my mind is far too active to shackle with inabilities and disabilities. I did upgrade the home theater setup with a new Onkyo receiver and Oppo everything-disc player in anticipation of a winter spent quite a bit more inside and in low activity than usual; Jeff and I had a few movie nights recently and it takes my mind somewhat off of other "things." I've been doing my best to keep a date we had with other friends of ours to see Jersey Boys at the Hippodrome in Baltimore Saturday evening, and I think I can make it. I can sit for a while in a seat with only a bit of difficulty, I will make sure I take Rush Limbaugh's drug of choice prior to the show to keep the pain in check. It will be good to see some of our friends who will be joining us that night, the complete lack of visitors since being hurt hasn't made me feel any better about myself, so this will do my mind some good having fun, as long as I don't run into any issues walking to and from the theater and my seat. Jeff and I did a Costco and Wegman's run earlier in the week after a trip to my primary care physician and I did quite well. Of course, I was hanging off the back of a shopping cart those times, it was my arms that gave me hell from carrying most of my weight that day. No shopping carts this time, and I have a couple undamaged canes and five lovely people that can help if needed.

Thanks for reading.

It appears my preparedness for the snow has apparently scared it off. Just a light dusting out there.

Now that it's almost 364 shopping days until Xmas, I don't have to worry much about it for a while. Jeff and I had a relaxing few days. While we did not pimp out the house with lights, we did get into the spirit of the big day by going to see Dickens' A Christmas Carol performed at the Olney Theater on Christmas Eve. Olney Theater is a wonderful local outfit that has been around for decades, and every show I've seen has been very well done. We were in for a little surprise with this show, as it was performed entirely by one man. And if you ask me, it was probably one of the most engaging performances I've seen of the classic. Both of us enjoyed the performance greatly, afterward we headed to our favorite local restaurant/bar Looney's Pub for a nice, (very) informal dinner. A good day overall.

The Big Day was almost as low key, Jeff make our little dinner whilst I tinkered with stuff. I had ordered a new (overkill) video card and (really overkill) power supply for the crazy quad-core PC I had built early in the year but basically flung aside while I took care of house- and garage-oriented projects until my body gave out. If I desire, the new mega-PC can support a hee-yooge desktop/workspace across no less than six displays. While such an endeavor is highly unlikely, I would like to eventually set up a two- or three-display desktop using monitors in portrait configuration. When funds free up, though.

Today we braved the oncoming non-blizzard by taking a quick trip to the grocery store for some goodies, then I occupied my time in the basement workshop doing wiring and installing the new heater. The heater is a definite help, but not as effective as I would like since it basically has to try and heat the entire 36x48 main basement area that the workshop is part of. I have been wanting to wall up the various areas and have been making progress with other upgrades and such that needed to be done before such an undertaking. Perhaps this coming year will allow me the chance of clearing out a huge amount of cruft and beginning the creation of actual spaces rather than one big outrageous mess.

Tomorrow both Jeff and I have medical and financial bizness to take care of. The lack-o snow and accompanying driving insanity will make this happen much easier. This week will be one of more recovery for us both, and we both hope to be somewhat productive around the homestead as well.

I hope everyone reading this had the past few days at least as nice as we did. And here's hoping for a good '11.

Cheers.

I guess I've been lax at updating things here. I can only sit for so long at the controls here at The Orbiting Headquarters of Mayhem, and going mobile with the nuclear football little lappy is no fun. Anyhoo:

I have dispensed with the walker, I can move about the house normally (albeit slowly) and I can go up and down the stairs with no trouble. Walking for any sort of distance, however, I still need the cane, just in case. Standing no longer produces the slow fire of pain down my buttocks and around my legs, which is excellent. This means the operation was a success in opening up the spinal canal and eliminating the spinal stenosis condition. This gets a major woot. However, there are some complications, most of which have been slowly improving. The pain I feel at the incision/site is getting more bearable, but sitting for any length of time eventually becomes extremely uncomfortable. The necessary pain killers make me feel loopy and drugged, which is to be expected. However, they do their job, and as a side benefit, I have The. Most. Intense. Dreams. Ever. Seriously. Lucasfilm should be able to come up with visuals even close to what I sometimes produce in my sleep. The best so far have been a combination of steampunk and gritty turn-of-the-century steelmill and factory imagery complete with deafening sound, strange characters and all sorts of action. The kicker is the entire scene which played out like an enormous steel town at full production was taking place inside of my body as it was healing from the surgery. Impossible to describe, but how I wish dreams had reruns. X-D

The worst so far involves my legs. From the knees down and ending most intensely at my feet, I have pretty severe numbness. I was told that because of the way my spinal cord was constrained in the bony sections of the vertebrae and one ruptured disc had dug into the spinal cord, there was nerve damage that will take quite a while to regenerate, and that things may not return to completely normal levels. This is upsetting, but I'm willing to let time take its course. Very little has changed since the operation as far as this goes. Patience, patience.

I'm also slowly disappearing. On the scale this morning, I weighed a mere 213 pounds. I don't mind the weight loss while I recover, but I know that over time, a lot of what I lost was muscle mass, especially in my legs. Pants that used to fit snug in the thighs and calves flap around on me like a scarecrow outfit. Once I am (hopefully) back to normal (whatever that is!), I can resume things that kept me beefy over the years.

Lastly, but very important: Thanks bunches to all who sent cards, messages, texts and phone calls while I've been out of commission. You guys 'n' gals are the bestest. So many kind thoughts from unexpected places made taking the entire lack of contact from the expected sources much easier to handle. It's therapy of the most awesome kind.

Tomorrow Jeff and I are going to attempt to celebrate our tenth anniversary together. Time sure flies when we're having fun. Or surgery. ;)

Jeff and I had a fairly productive weekend. There were a few things needing to be dealt with that required some running around at the end of the week, some stuff mailed out, trips to the credit unions, etc. But I think I got most of it all under control.

Saturday I did what anyone about to have major surgery on their back would do.

I split a one-third cord of firewood. X-D

Having a splitter made this doable. I sat on one of the logs, and had a little (dis)assembly line going. None of this stuff was big, maybe 24 inches in diameter at best. I tossed to pieces into wheelbarrows that Jeff would take to the woodshed and stack. Jeff did some mowing of the lawn and weeding of flower beds, which looks great. I did some tinkering in the garage. I noticed that the battery on the big tiller was toast. It was six years old, so it was time, I guess. I'm wondering about the battery in the tractor. It came out of the wrecked Dodge Shadow in '00. What did not enter my mind was how long the battery was in the car before. No dates on the battery itself, and it was the one which replaced the original, so it might have been 4-5 years old prior to that. It's still going strong, and still load tests well. Not bad for a 72 month AC-Delco aftermarket battery.

I wanted to change the oil in Jeff's truck for a while now, it's been sitting down at the garage for a couple weeks. The battery was dead in that when I wanted to move it on Saturday, and the charger did nothing to revive it. Another dead battery. So, Jeff and I went out today to run errands as well as to now buy a pair of batteries. Great timing. The truck is all done, Jeff has his own vehicle once again.

While out and about, we stopped into the new Performance Bicycle store that opened up nearby a month ago. Lots of nice rides. I'm thinking that once I heal up, Jeff and I will treat ourselves to a pair of new bikes, and do a lot more riding. But first, I need some repairs of my own.

Monday is the big day. WIith luck, you should hear from me in a day or two. I'll have Jeff keep people informed.

Cheers!